Do Hard Things Book Study: Chapters 1 and 2/This Week in Books
Do Hard Things--Chapters 1 and 2 - These two chapters begin with the inspiring personal testimony of Alex and Brett Harris. They share about their dad motivating them to do something productive with free time they had one Summer and his wise channeling of their energies which ultimately resulted in propelling them to begin blogging. Little could they imagine that in just a few short months their blog, The Rebelution, would be the highest-trafficked Christian blog for teens.It was through their blog that God began opening doors of opportunity: interviews with national media, an internship at the Alabama Supreme Court, and grass-roots directorship of four statewide political campaigns. God used these various opportunities to stretch and shape them. They couldn't just blog about "doing hard things", God was pushing them out of their comfort zones in order to help them practice what they were preaching.
I was struck, in reading these first two chapters, with how easy it is to talk the talk, but doing hard things means we also walk the walk. Talk won't get you anywhere just as shirking responsibilities or difficulties won't produce any growth as an individual.
Alex and Brett are not just challenging other young people to step out and take on challenges for Christ's Kingdom, Alex and Brett are living this out in their own lives. And that is what makes this book and their message so compelling.
What were your thoughts on chapters 1 and 2?
Also read this week:
Taking Care of the Me in Mommy by Lisa Whelchel - While I would definitely not agree with every little thing in this book and think moms need to use discernment in reading it (well, we should always use discernment when reading books!), I appreciated much of Lisa's practical encouragement and ideas for moms to take time to refresh themselves in order to be better wives, mothers, and homemakers. I also was challenged by the chapters on our relationship with the Lord and our need to be meditating upon Scripture and living lives breathed in prayer and worship to our Creator.I did want to say that I was bothered by some of the book's contents. While Lisa re-iterated a few times about not becoming selfish, I felt it would be easy for a mom to read this book and feel sorry for herself if she's not having weekly outings with her friends, weekly time alone to do whatever she wants, or lots of pampering. There is a fine line between doing things to refresh ourselves so that we can better serve our families and falling into the me-first mentality so prevalent in our society.
I personally am grappling with how one finds balance in this regard right now. I certainly know God doesn't desire for us to be frazzled, un-bathed, unkempt slobs, but I also know we need to ever guard against becoming lazy and self-serving. Do any more experienced moms out there have some nuggets of wisdom to share on this subject? I'd love to hear!
Everyday Cooking by Vickie Bentley - As a homeschooling mother of many, Vickie is well-versed in efficiency in the kitchen and her experience shines through in this book. The recipes included are simple and wholesome and encourage moms to cook from scratch with whole foods. I especially appreciated the time-saving tips and frugal ideas (one I'd never thought of was to cut chicken breasts in half width-wise if you are using a recipe that calls for whole chicken breasts in a casserole--they still look the same size, but they'll go almost twice as far this way!).To see what books I'm reading to the girls this week, go here.
Bible Reading:
Finished Ezra and Nehemiah, began Esther
What have you been reading recently? Any great recommendations?
Labels: Do Hard Things, Reviews
posted by Crystal Paine at 12:20 AM
13 Comments:
I am learning so much from Which Version is the Bible? by Floyd Nolen Jones. I highly recommend it.
I am re-reading Created to be His Help Meet and I am still plugging along in Missionary Patriarch which is the amazing autobiography of John Paton.
I enjoyed your comments regarding "me time" and it's dangers. Personally I have found that I am more content and a better person (to my loved ones) when I *don't* have great expectations or requirements in this area. If I *expect* these types of things regularily, I am feeding a self centred "want" demon and inevitably am annoyed by anyone/thing that comes in the way or "robs" me of what I *think* is my due. If I learn to take advantage of the little opportunities as they arise (sometimes just 20 minutes snatched in the bathtub with the fan and jets on to drown out the noise of 6 other people has to suffice) without expecting them, and really jumping at the opportunity to get out when I can, but not needing it to be a regular right, things are good. I am not having expectations that get disappointed.
I also found it was necessary to "rearrange" my expectations about me time. I do have "girfriend time" once a week, but we bring our kids along and let them play in the park. I still feel refreshed, but I didn't have to find a way to escape from five kids in order for it to happen. Stuff like that.
He came to serve, not to be served. I must follow His lead.
I have not read Lisa Welchel's book, but have heard her on Focus on the Family, I think. I have had concerns just hearing about the topic; for me discontentedness begins with unmet expectations and thoughts of self. I agree that 'breaks' are wonderful, when they come, but expecting them can set one up for self-pity if they don't happen as often as we'd like. I do believe, however, that when opportunity comes to 'get away' for a little while, and your husband encourages it, you should enjoy yourself and not feel guilty for enjoying yourself!
I think I am struggling with the same "me time" conflicts. The only "me time" I seem to get is when I'm doing the bare minimum of getting myself ready in the morning and that is full of interruptions, but I'm used to it.
I think some time to yourself is necessary, but I would like to know when does it become selfishness? How much is too much and is unnecessary?
I was talking to my MIL who had 10 children and she was expressing how hard it was and that she felt like a zombie all the time. When she was raising her kids it was through the 50s, 60s and 70s when "me-time" wasn't even heard of for moms.
I am starting to feel like a zombie. Just looking for balance, I guess.
I know that my husband doesn't want a zombie for a wife.
Susanne: I personally don't think one can make hard and fast rules about when taking time to refresh yourself as a mom crosses over into selfishness. We're all different, with different families, different needs, different situations... I think it's our heart motivation that can really help us determine what is right and wrong for us in any given situation. (Am I doing this because I think "I deserve this and I need to get away from my children" or am I taking some time to refresh myself so that I can be a more joyful wife and mom?)
I'm still learning, growing, grappling, praying about this. I've found that my husband is a good sounding board for me in this as he knows me better than anyone else.
One thing that I am learning is that times of refreshment don't necessarily need to be away from the children. If I'm feeling overwhelmed, tired, burnt-out, etc. sometimes just a change of scenery is a huge help: staying home and forgetting about the housework and just declaring a "game day". Or meeting another friend with young children for playtime at the park. Or a date with my husband. Or taking just one of the children with me shopping.
I also think it is vitally important that we moms are constantly feeding ourselves with the Word of God and living a life breathed in prayer. Times spent in the Word and prayer--even in small little snippets--can be a huge source of refreshment. After all, God is the giver of life and health and strength so when I'm feeling weary, I should go to Him for grace and help.
I guess my encouragement to you would just be to seek the Lord, talk to your husband about it, and see how God leads!
I too am looking at the me-time issue. It is a tough issue. I think there are a couple of areas we need to consider. Are we frazzled because our needs(sleep, proper nutrition, exercise, etc.)aren't met or because our wants aren't what we would like? If it is only our wants that we would like to see gratified more often, maybe we need to learn to want different things. I ask this because I do not remember seeing anything resembling me time in scripture. I am not saying doing something you enjoy that refreshes you physically/emotionally is a sin. I am asking what are we trading for this self time? I am not pointing fingers at anyone. I am relating questions and thoughts I myself am having as I search for the balance. I am reminded of Paul's barometer for Christian liberty issues. He tells us that he is denied nothing but that not everything is beneficial. This makes me wonder does our me time make us long to serve our family or does it breed the desire for more me time. Thank you for your thoughts Crystal. I would like to read more biblically sound thoughts regarding the balance issues of motherhood. -Melissa
Crystal,
Good advice. I was thinking about this after I commented and I don't think I really want "me-time". I think I just want a little more peace. Things can get so hectic. I agree, changing the scenery is very helpful, even if it is small like taking the kids to the park. When they get a change of scenery, they are usually better behaved, too. We reorganized their bedroom the other night and they love spending their time in there now.
I definitely don't need a regular alone time. No way. I don't think I'd even like that. (I'm breastfeeding so that is impossible.)
I was also thinking about how much "me-time" my husband gets and it isn't very much. (Any books out there about men getting "me-time"?)The only "me-time" he gets is his hour long commute. Not very exciting.(However, he does get to shower by himself. :-)) I think we would both like more "us time". Maybe that is what we are both striving for. More "us-time". ;-)
Thanks for answering my comment.
It looks like you answered your own question, Crystal!
We got Do Hard Things for my daughter for birthday, so I've been patiently waiting for her to finish it so I can read it.
Okay, so I snuck it out of her room a couple of times. But now she's done, so it's just me and my husband reading it. Maybe we should have gotten several copies.
DO HARD THINGS, is a great book and i hope you enjoy reading it.
rebecca
I always find it interesting how women authors, even Christian ones, write on the subject of needing personal time in order to function, or that it is a right we have.
I think the answer here is to look to Gods Word. I am a busy Mama of five and to be honest, life doesn't give me moments for coffee dates with friends very often. It would be easy to look to time out of the house, shopping trips, or times of pampering to fuel my days.
All the strength we need is in the Lord. The Bible says that they that refresh others will themselves be refreshed. I truly believe that serving our husbands and families and spending time with the Lord is like plugging our batteries into the recharger.
Anyway, enough on that. I just really dislike the notion that being selfish is a God approved idea.
Blessings,
Hannah
I had written a long comment to this over the weekend and meanwhile my server went berserk and it was lost in outer space somewhere (but it was brilliant, believe me!) LOL!
I just finished Do Hard Things, and have really enjoyed it--I've even recommended it to a young person in our church as well as to the youth director at our church, who just ordered a copy! Looking forward to getting more into it.
I haven't read the other two books, but as far as the issue of pampering myself, I sometimes scratch my head on that subject. I find that I struggle often times with my own selfish issues, and that I don't need to spoil the inner brat even more! At the same time, outsiders (like my parents or MIL) seem to want to encourage me to do just that--and in the process I sometimes feel like THEY try to spoil me because I won't spoil myself. My parents tend to seem concerned that I'm not taking care of myself (by THEIR standards), while my MIL will send books on how to pamper yourself and faithfully sends me $20 a month, which to me is much more useful and appreciated.
I digress. Here's a book I really enjoyed, and it was a lovely surprise: The Worn Out Woman by Dr. Steve Stephens and Alice Gray. I unfortunately gave my copy away, but it's a little gem of a book that reads like magazine articles (read the chapters in any order), and has great encouragement and ideas of things you can do to refresh your spirit. Most of the ideas actually encourage you to do something for someone else rather than yourself. It's been a couple years since I've read it, but I don't recall anything contrary to Scripture, which is important to me.
I've also been reading Disciplines of the Home by Anne Ortlund. I've read two others by her (Disciplines of the Beautiful Woman and Disciplines of the Heart), and both were very good. Her style is a bit dated (in a Dr. Dobson sot of way), but very good. I'd be curious to hear your thoughts on any of these books, Crystal. If you haven't read them, add them to your list! (Ortlund's 3 books were also published together under the title The Gentle Ways of the Beautiful Woman in a 3-in-1 book.)
Happy reading!
Merrilee
Merrilee: Thank you for the book suggestions! I just requested them from PaperBackSwap.
My son introduced me to Do Hard Things and it's a book that I would read again for motivation.
I blogged about their modesty survey on their site - really interesting.
http://www.adventuresinparenting.org/2008/06/11/hear-it-from-the-guys-about-modesty/
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