Encouragement for young moms: Your hard efforts will pay off
Lee commented on this post:
And please remember, I have a 3-year-old and a 12-month-old. I think that is a huge difference from having a 2-year-old and a 6-month-old. Since Kathrynne has turned three, she has taken on so much extra responsibility and become so helpful to me. I couldn't do the half of what I do if she weren't so helpful!
I remember the first day she took herself potty all by herself. I about fell over! I couldn't believe that my child could do something all by herself as I'd become so accustomed to having to do almost everything for her since she wasn't old enough yet.
Just a year later, she can now help fold the laundry, pick up her toys, empty the trashes, entertain Kaitlynn, get her own breakfast, get her own drinks, bring me things, put things away for me... and she's almost even perfected getting herself in and out of her car seat!
My biggest encouragement to you would just be to be faithful in lovingly training, guiding, and nurturing your little ones right now. If all you get done are the bare basics, that's entirely okay. Loving and caring for your children is much more important than a host of other projects you could spend your day doing. And in a few years, your hard effort will pay off!
I'm amazed that you get so much done. I feel like I'm forever trying to get things done, but with the 2-year-old and the 6-month-old, all I really get done is diapers, potty training, and nursing. It just amazes me.Lee, don't fret! It sounds like you are doing a magnificent job! Focus on loving and taking care of your babies right now and don't worry about how much other mamas get done. There are probably a lot of things you do that I don't.
And please remember, I have a 3-year-old and a 12-month-old. I think that is a huge difference from having a 2-year-old and a 6-month-old. Since Kathrynne has turned three, she has taken on so much extra responsibility and become so helpful to me. I couldn't do the half of what I do if she weren't so helpful!
I remember the first day she took herself potty all by herself. I about fell over! I couldn't believe that my child could do something all by herself as I'd become so accustomed to having to do almost everything for her since she wasn't old enough yet.Just a year later, she can now help fold the laundry, pick up her toys, empty the trashes, entertain Kaitlynn, get her own breakfast, get her own drinks, bring me things, put things away for me... and she's almost even perfected getting herself in and out of her car seat!
My biggest encouragement to you would just be to be faithful in lovingly training, guiding, and nurturing your little ones right now. If all you get done are the bare basics, that's entirely okay. Loving and caring for your children is much more important than a host of other projects you could spend your day doing. And in a few years, your hard effort will pay off!
Labels: Mothering
posted by Crystal Paine at 8:40 AM
18 Comments:
Amen to this!
Lee, I was in your shoes 6 months ago - Liam (my 10 month old) was still nursing every hour and a half. I got no sleep, felt like I was barely survivig. Dinner was usually a "30 minute meal", and my house was not as clean as I was used to it being...
Crystal had put up a post from me months ago (last year already, I think), when I was expecting Liam...the overwhelming advice I got was to not worry about perfection. If your family is clean, loved, and fed, and your home is sanitary (a totally different word than 'Donna Reed perfect!'), you're doing your job.
Just relax...love on your family, enjoy them! What one person's reality is, may not always be what could or should be anothers..Just relax and enjoy your babies! You know as well as we do that they grow up all too fast....
*hugs*
My encouragement to Lee and every other mom out there in the throws of potty-training!
I have just potty-trained (well, we still have the occasional accident) my 2 1/2 yr old, and I have to say that there was a stretch there where I just about wanted to strangle the next person that told me a story about how their 14 month old decided to go potty all on her own! But kudos to them, all the same... :)
Training my 2 1/2 yr old was definitely a full-time job. I tried the gradual approach and, well, it just doesn't work for some children! It came down to blocking out an entire week and deciding (along with my husband) to do NOTHING but take the 2 yr old potty every 20 min, clean up pee and poop, and keep everyone dressed and fed. You have a VERY full time job now, and eventually things WILL settle down.
Yes, your efforts WILL pay off. Now my 2 yr old takes herself potty and I'm spending alot less time and money on diapering (the 13 month old is still in diapers, of course). Now I have a little more time for other things...
Phebe
Crystal,
Thank you for your encouragement today. Another angle - many of us Christian moms haven't trained our children at such an early age, which causes only frustration with ourselves and with our own children. I humbly suggest making to-do lists shorter if you have those types of personalities in your households that want to challenge authority constantly. My husband has helped me understand this. When they turn into teenagers, the problem of "helping" only gets worse! This is where I am right now, but we're making progress with the Lord's help - and that's just it - The One who helps me daily works in their hearts as well! Thank you for your insights!
Rosa
Don't worry Lee, I don't get "anything" done, either. My day is:
Diapers/potty training
Breakfast
Nursing
Diapers/potty training
Keep almost 4 yr old and 2 yr old from harming themselves or harming the baby (4 mos)
Diapers/Potty training
Lunch/Nursing
Nap (Nursing or keep baby happy)
More diapers and potty training
Dinner (chaos time)
Diapers/Potty training
Bed!
Somewhere in my day I manage to do dishes and laundry and have quality play time outside with the kids. TO get the other cleaning done I do what I did last night. I stayed up until 12a folding laundry and vaccuming.
A wise mom of 11 told me last fall (when I was trying to keep track of my 4 and 2 year olds while nursing my 3 month old at a football game)"Amy, you are 'in the trenches' right now. Parenting is HARD when they are all tiny and needy. It does get easier when those big kids can help you out." I needed those words that crazy night and I have referred back to those words when I have crazy moments, er, days at home! And I am continually AMAZED at how helpful my now 5 year old is! woo-hoo! Amy
Thank you for the reminder of what is important - our children not our tasks!
I am 36 weeks pregnant with very limited energy and my *active* 17 month old daughter is potty-training.
I have a to-do list as long as my arm of things I want to accomplish before the new baby arrives at the end of July and sometimes I get so frustrated that I can accomplish so little between Chloe and her needs and the limited energy I do have.
We had an 80th birthday party for Nana at our house this weekend and a lady told me that although clover may look nice on the lawn, it is all actually weeds and I should pull them out.
I felt like a failure as in my neighborhood everyone else seems to have perfect lawns but we can't all be supermoms and accomplish absolutly everything perfectly all the time. I'm going to mow the lawn - with everything being the same height maybe the weeds won't be so noticable.
The areas of my home that are important to my DH are in order, and my daughter is down for her nap. I'm going to join her :)
Jenn
Keep training your children to help...it will pay off! My girls are 10 and 13 and they can practically run my home without my help at all. We enjoy our times cleaning and cooking together! I am SO glad I took the time to train them when they were younger, even when I thought it would never pay off!
I couldn't agree more with your thoughts, Crystal!
Lee - You are a blessing to your family, don't let anything make you forget that. :o) I have a two year old and am pregnant with our second and due in January and I also watch a six week old and a 1.5 year old for my good friend two days a week - it's nutso but enjoyable. I focus on getting done what needs to be accomplished, which is usually child-related a lot of the times, and center around keeping our house functional. I tend to get upset sometimes seeing that other women with children have beautiful displays of flowers on their tables or are making this or that neat craft, and I just don't have the time. Perfection is only reserved for God, and we moms just have to get through the day with joy. That's the most important thing. Bless you for your role as a mother! It's invaluable!
This is a great topic. I would like to offer some encouragement to all moms of young children. We have 5 children but the first 4 came in 4 1/2 years. There are days when I am just keeping my head above water but it has gotten less labor intensive every year. Please remember this is just a season in our lives. There is coming a day when my house will be very clean, but it will be very quiet too. I would rather have some laundry piled up somewhere and dishes in my sink with kids laughing and running through the house while I'm sitting on the edge of the tub helping one of my kids learn to go potty in the big potty. I will long for this some day so I try to remember in the midst of the caos just to take a deep breath, pray for grace and enjoy my kids.
Lee and all Moms
It does get better. I have nine blessings and there are days I think nothing gets done !! But when you stop and think of what you did,it is alot.
You are training, teaching, loving,kissing boo boos, reading, playing, diaper duty :-) and feeding your little ones.God has allowed you to be a mother. It is the highest calling.
I think we sometimes forget and think we have to do this and that!! But taking care of our littles ones is a big job. You are doing just fine. As they get older you can do more "things".
The bible says in Proverbs 22:6 " Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it." You are doing your job!!
Enjoy the time you have with your little ones, they grow so quick! Have a wonderful day, you are in my prayers. I have been there and still going through it. My blessings are : 14,10,9,8,6,5,alomost4!!,2 and 91/2 months.
Many Blessings-
Rachelle
I'm about to deliver my second baby in a year and am curious about how not to go insane lol.
Mrs. W.--
My last two (I have 3 altogether) were 18 mos apart. From things I did right and things I did wrong to prepare for that time, I would say: Just plan on doing absolutely nothing except for caring for yourself and your two little ones during that time. If at all possible, find someone to help you for a few weeks--especially to help watch the older child. Prepare now! Lots of meal in the freezer--read the book The One Armed Cook--very helpful along these lines (Crystal has a review of this book, I believe). Don't be afraid to put your babies on as much of a routine as possible (after the little one is a few weeks old). Of course, things come along and mess up your routine often, but that is going to be much easier on your sleep!
I'm sure Crystal and other moms have some ideas too. Peruse the archives...
Blessings and prayers
Phebe
I couldn't agree more! Mine are 3-1/2 yrs apart and when our son started doing things on his own it was such a help! That car seat thing is huge. Go Kathryn! :)
What an encouragement! I could have echoed her sentiments with my 19 month old and 4 month old.
Crystal, We are trying to conceive our first child this summer and I really want to plan ahead as much as possible. One thing I want to do is stock up on used baby clothes so we don't have to spend out of pocket for expensive clothes later. Your daughters always look so cute. I was wondering if you'd share a bit about how much you spend on kid/baby clothes and where you find clothes. I'd appreciate it so much. We are in L.A. so thrift stores are usually picked dry of all quality goods but I am still hopeful.
-L.A. Mama-to-be
Aww !
Beautiful Kathrynne! You are blessed! She is blessed!
Carla
What a beautiful picture of Kathrynn! Her hair is very similar in curl and length to our Zara who is 4.
Claire
I actually breathed a physical sigh of relief when I read this! It's such a good reminder and great encouragement. At one and a half, Katherine is becoming so helpful as a result of the training I've done so far. She's not very GOOD at chores yet, but she loves to help, and her willing attitude and enjoyment of helping Mom will pay off, I know. But hearing it again helps, especially as I look at having two to care for in the fall!
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