From Exhaustion to Rejuvenation: Overcoming the Worn-Out Woman Syndrome - Part 2
"Seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousnessand all these things shall be added unto you."
(Matthew 6:33)
Once I had admitted how overwhelmed and weary I was feeling and poured out my struggles to the Lord, I began slowly examining everything in my life with my husband. What specific problem areas in my life could be contributing to my exhaustion?
One very obvious area needing attention was my relationship with the Lord. Most days, I was spending time in God's Word and prayer, but it felt very dry and lifeless. It was as if I was "going through the motions", without any heartfelt effects. Oh yes, some days a verse or two would really speak to me, but by and large I didn't find myself hungering and thirsting after God.
Upon further reflection, I realized that, in a sense, I'd become "too busy for God". No, I would never have told you that, but my actions and attitudes were speaking loudly concerning my priorities. If I had a choice between God's Word and getting on the computer or reading an interesting book, sadly, I would have chosen the latter. Rarely was I spending deep times of fellowship and communication with the Lord and often I'd rush through my Bible reading in order to get on with the next thing.
Yes, this was a serious problem and it takes me a great deal of courage to even admit where I was. My heart's desire was still to glorify God, but I'd become so involved in so many different other things in life that I had lost sight of my First Love.
The solution for me was not a quick fix, but a slow process. I began making myself stop and linger in God's Word. I started journaling again in order to help me focus and dig deeper into the Scriptures for nuggets of Truth. I asked God to encourage me through His Word, to deepen my relationship with Him, and to restore my hunger and thirst for Him.
Jesse and I felt the need to discontinue certain things in our life which we felt might be pulling me towards the world and away from God. I took a media fast and cut back on my computer time replacing these things with listening to sermons and hymns. I started reading through some of our many inspiring and deep books by great men and women of faith of old (C.H. Spurgeon, Amy Carmichael, Andrew Murray, etc.). And Jesse spent a lot of time praying for me and praying with me that God would renew my heart and my desire for Him.
You know what I found? The more time I spent fellowshipping with the Lord, turning my heart towards the things of God, and asking the Lord that His desires might be my desires and that I would love Him with all of my heart, soul, mind, and strength, the more I wanted to fellowship with Him. The more I seek to know Him, the more I want to know Him.
Don't get me wrong, I'm far from perfected in this regard. I'd like to tell you that I'm never tempted to skip quickly through my quiet time in order to get on with more "important things", but I still struggle plenty with this. However, I am thrilled that almost daily I am having rich times of sweet fellowship in God's Word.
I've learned that if you are too busy for God or too busy to pray, you are just plain too busy. Make whatever necessary changes you need to make in order to nurture a vibrant relationship with the Lord. Be ruthless; it's for your soul.
Resources:
Lord, Please Meet Me in the Laundry Room
Passionate Housewives Desperate for God
My All-Time Favorite Devotional Book
Articles:
Starting Your Day Off Right
My Number One Time Management Tip
Moms and Devotional Life (specifically for young mommies who can barely find time to brush their teeth!)
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What helps you to nurture a vibrant relationship with the Lord? What areas of your life do you need to change or adjust in order to make God preeminent in your life? Remember that different things will work for different people in different seasons of life--do what works for you! God bless you as you seek Him first!
Graphic from AllPosters.com
Labels: From Exhaustion to Rejuvenation
posted by Crystal Paine at 11:00 AM
35 Comments:
I've made morning devotions a part of my morning routine and try to at least focus on God in the Bible or spiritual reading for 20-30 minutes in the morning, plus prayer time.
In addition, something else that has helped me focus on the Lord throughout the day is listening to edifying sermons. I often listen to an audio MP3 of a sermon throughout the day - I play them on my iPod. Or I listen to sacred music when I have a chance while going about my day-to-day activities. At this season of life, I work outside the home, and I am allowed to play my iPod at my office, so I can take advantage of sermon MP3s or music readily. I can also listen to my iPod while I am washing dishes or doing mundane household chores.
this is so timely for me!
thank you!
Thank you for your candid sharing Crystal! It is hard for me to admit those dry times...I am having difficulty admitting that right now. Thank you for encouraging us to make the right things a priority...I am going to get off the computer right now and spend some unhurried time in the Word. Blessings!
Thank you for this series, Crystal. I know exactly what you mean about things becoming habit instead of a living, vibrant relationship with the Lord Jesus. I, too, must be constantly careful in this respect. It's nice to know I'm not the only one - and even nicer is to hear that you are more than a conqueror, through Him that loves us!
~Amber
You are so brave to come forward and acknowledge what so many of us struggle with. I admit, more than I would like to, that I have often felt the same way and struggle with the same issues. I have not begun journaling, but have stopped "timing" my time with God and just enjoying His word. Thank you so much for your transparency and sharing your victory in this matter. It has encouraged my heart greatly!
Crystal,
This is brave, honest, and very real. You are not the only one who struggles with this, but you are brave enough to admit it, and I appreciate that.
I noticed a heavy emphasis towards house cleaning and time management in your blog recently. It is so hard to maintain balance so that we keep our houses running smoothly, without majoring in the minors.
Thanks for being brave enough and humble enough to share this struggle. It has helped me, God bless you!
I really struggle with this also. I think it is easier to excuse yourself from devotional time when you're a mom, because we do have so much going on. But I have found that I do have quiet moments - when the children are napping, or getting up a half hour earlier. As you said, Crystal, it is for the sake of our soul. Life here is so brief - eternity is approaching for each of us - will our hearts be found in Christ on our last day?
I also wanted to let you know that I really appreciate devotional/spritual posts on your blog. It is so uplifting to me, and encouraging to share our walk of faith!
Thank you for this post. I think nothing takes the place of reading the Bible, but a second thing that really helps me is to listen to Christian music.
Things that do not help me are tv, spending too much time with non-Christian unless to evangelize, secular music, and reading worldly books, and magazines, and even too much time with Christians, that takes away from other things, that should be done in the home, causing stress.
God bless you, Crystal.
Carla
Crystal - thank you so much for this series.
I find myself an exhausted, worn-out woman lately.
Thank you again.
As soon as I get up in the morning, I go straight to the living room and turn the lamp on and begin reading through the Bible. I'm doing the read the Bible in a year schedule. After that, I like to download sermons, messages, or Christian talk shows onto my MP3 player so I can listen while I do my morning chores. One of my favorite Christian radio personalities is Nancy Leigh DeMoss. I often download her show for the day and listen to it. Last Monday, July 14th, she had a guest speaker on there (can't remember her name) who was talking about having four children and how she was so exhausted at one point that her health was in danger. She talks about how she came out of that, and it was very encouraging. I believe it's still available for downloading. Today's message was along these lines also, and I really enjoyed it. The guest speaker was Anne Ortlund.
Crystal, you have absolutely no idea how you just described ME lately. Back when I was first married and we only had one little one, I began cutting back on my time with the Lord until now it is almost non-existent and as you said, skip quickly through to get on to "more important" things. It lacks so much and is more like a "duty" than a pleasure. Thank you so much for starting this series, it's just what I need right now. It's encouraging to know I'm not the only one having difficulty with this.
~Jennifer K.
Mommy to Alissa 3, Micah 2 and Colin 5 months.
Crystal, I appreciate this new series and your vulnerability in sharing with us. I can relate very much, not only to feeling worn out, but to feeling a dryness and lack of anticipation for my times with the Lord.
Your suggestions are helpful and I may try to implement some of them. I've been recently trying to listen more to sermons, etc. when I have the ability to, and I find that helpful. I think that my next focus needs to be on purposefully focusing on my morning devotional times to make them deeper and more meaningful again. I can already anticipate that it will take a lot of work, but I think it will be worth it.
I would appreciate your prayers, for a renewed desire to fellowship with the Lord. Thanks so much for sharing this timely message!
This is truly something many struggle with, including myself. Especially when you have a house to keep clean, meals to prepare etc. There is a book that I have read twice as a single person, and I probably should read it again now that I have the perspective of a wife. It is called "Draw Close to Jehovah" and is a whole book based on James 4:8 that says "Draw close to God and he will draw close to you". Through examples in the Bible it illustrates the basic qualities of God's personality: love, power, justice and mercy. And studying his personality really helps strengthen my relationship with him.
-Morgan
mvalencia@astoneagency.com
Wow Crystal-
God has been working on me in the same areas! I feel like God wants me to focus on him more, and more time training my children. I can't do that when I am on the computer. Sometimes I felt like I had to keep up with the blogging world. Silly I know, it is just another way for the devil to sneak in. I just started a journal, I write down where I am reading, what I got from it, how can I apply it to the day. I also write everyday my prayers in it and mark when they have been answered. I have a section for thanksgiving. I try to write 5 things down each day that I am thankful. This helps me to see what God has done and is doing for me. I think sometimes we forget all the little things he does for us. I am so glad you have shared with us. I now know I am not the only one who feels this way and has lost the sparkle! Have a blessed night!
I really needed to read this today. Thanks so much for posting!
Jasmine
I really appreciate your blog....and all you have to say. There's an award waiting for you on my blog :-)
Crystal,
I went to a Woman's Heart conference two weeks ago, and the most important thing I took away from it was spending as much time as you can reading God's Word. It's my greatest desire as a parent to pass on a love for Jesus to my children. When I asked one of the conference speakers how to do this, she encouraged me to let my children see me reading the Bible as much as possible. Our children always want to "be like Mommy," and if they see us reading the Bible, they'll do it, too! Not only will we grow closer to Jesus, but we'll bring our children with us.
I think that it is important to accept seasons of spiritual dryness as a gift from God. It is easy to be loving and take action when we are feeling emotionally tuned in. When we continue to seek and know God better despite intense dryness, we are acting from a deeper love than mere emotion. When our actions and words show our deep love for our family despite fatigue, depression and burn out, we show a deeper love than when we are feeling lively and happy. In the end, we cannot overcome the worn out woman syndrome--only God can lead us out of it--in His good time. Seasons like this come and go for everyone through life--and are often the times of deepest growth because we must rely on His Grace and not on our power.
Annie
Crystal
Thanks again for a great post. As well as spiritual reasons for exhaustion, I am wondering whether you have considered medical/ physical reasons. I suffered from postnatal depression in the past, and to be honest, it left me feeling just the way you describe....exhausted, struggling to pray, Bible seeming dry etc. It is only after that experience that i realise how closly linked our minds and bodies are, and what may seem to be a spiritual problem may also be physical or medical. To people in this situation, particularly who have recently had a new baby, I would consider having a medical check to rule out conditions such as postnatal depression or a postpartum thyroid problem.
Thanks again Karen
Crystal,
Our true husband is the Lord. I find that the more I seek after Him then everything else will fall into place.
You are right that it is hard to stay focused at times. I often just set down and ask the Lord to show me His Word in the bible. I do find a verse that speaks to me.
My husband and I often pray together twice a day. Having your husband to pray over you is such a blessing!! I just wished we had done that at the beginning of our marriage.
Blessings,
Charlotte
I've been quietly reading your posts for awhile. YOur site is wonderful. I've left something for you on my site today. Go there and see.
Crystal,
Thank you so much for your honesty and openess!
I can truly relate! For some time I've been feeling really down. My husband keeps asking me "what's wrong", and all I can say is "I'm just tired...really tired and restless". Not that I'm not happy here--as a matter of fact, I AM, and I feel very blessed to be the Mama of 3 sweet little blessings.
BUT, somehow us Mamas can just keep going (what other choice is there?)and going like the energizer bunny...forgetting that our batteries will surely start to run low. We look at other moms around us and think "they have it all together--what's wrong with me?"
In the last 18 mos, I moved across the country, had my 3rd child (only 18 mos younger than the last--and C-Section too!), and supported my husband through a VERY stressful ER job and the switch to a less-stressful one, we bought our first house and had to deal with the blessings and stresses that brings. Whew! No wonder I'm tired! Why do I think I should be super-woman?
You're right, the path out of exhaustion starts with spending more time with the Lord. I have found the best way for me to do that is to get up really early--which means going to bed early--something I'm not that good at...
I would appreciate your prayers...
Thank you.
Phebe
http://www.crosswalk.com/devotionals/dailylightdailypath/
The Daily Light on the Path is available to read online.
Bev.
I've noticed a patern with myself. When I'm lax with reading and studying scripture, I'm too tired to do anything else. We need to daily meditate on God's word to change us refresh us and keep us from burning out.
Thanks again.
Karen
This is so in time for me. Thank you for sharing. I definitely needed this.
A few years ago I started the habit of getting up early - 5:30 to read my Bible and pray. It took some doing as I am NOT a morning person, but it is such a habit now that I wake up before the alarm goes off. I get my coffee and sit down to read a couple chapters in the Old and New Testaments and then have my prayer time with my prayer journal. Somedays I have to reread as I can't focus and don't know what I just read.
This past year I have been on a downward slide as we moved here from Japan and have had 2 car accidents that have physically hindered me and a lot of days are with pain. I pray for God to help me through though and your series is definitely a blessing.
Thank you!
we have a family gathering time every morning, it keeps us focused and accountable, all the children have to have a scripture to share.
yes keeping focused is a priority and you have to work at it it doesn't happen automatically
blessings, Penny Raine
http://www.pennyraine.com/blog
url in my first comment was wrong
blessings, Penny
I shared this post with my husband last night. It was very helpful in allowing him to understand where I am right now. Thanks! Also there is a blog written by a friend of mine that I really think you would enjoy. It's called One Wild and Precious LIfe and the address is jesstock.blogspot.com .
i know what you mean about hurrying through devotions to get to "more important" things.
what has helped me the past several months is to meditate on the cross and my savior! as i read of, listen to music about, and meditate on how Jesus died for me and all the glories of the cross and the implications it all has (justification, eternal life, free from God's wrath, etc.) I am full of spiritual vitality (only of God's spirit and gracious working of course) and joy! I am saved from hell and sin! I am saved! I must feast on God's Word and learn more about my precious Savior and my loving Father. Praise GOd! my sins are gone!
Look to the cross. Come weary saint. Look to Him. Bury yourself under His love.
Crystal,
I've been reading your blog for a few months now but have never left a comment...until now! I felt a deep conviction from the Spirit after reading your post, this is a true struggle of mine as well and sometimes I feel very alone in regards to this. I have a 3 year old who has a rare bone disease and is physically unable to do much on her own and dependent on me in many ways. I also have a 13 month old who as you know is into everything and goes non stop. I feel so tired and drained much of the time and it is difficult to find time to study God's Word. I feel ashamed at the fact that if I do have a quiet moment I just want to veg out or jump on the internet instead of reading and praying. Please pray for me as I will for you and my other sisters in Christ as we strive to be Godly keepers of our homes. We cannot be all that God has called us to be if we don't keep Him first.
Thank you and God Bless!
Cara
Crystal,
I am SO thankful that I read this post today on your blog. It made me feel that I am NOT alone with my struggles to desire to glorify God, yet, at the same time, feeling worn-out and dry in becoming closer to God. I am in a season in my life where I am finding out that I am NOT as close to God or know as much about God's word as I thought I might have. After the death of my father, and my mother becoming widowed and developing multiple illnesses, it's been a real struggle for me to "stay on task" without bouts of depression, rage, and selfishness.
I started recently to read my bible and prayers to God again. Like you, I am far from "cured," and I realize that it's going to be a growth process, but I will just keep praying, and asking God to help me treasure His scriptures in my heart - to become closer to Him, learn and live His word, and be a better helpmeet to my husband. I know the Lord will guide me.
"Turn us again to yourself, O Lord God of Heaven's Armies. Make your face shine down upon us. Only then will we be saved." (Psalm 80:19, NLT)
Thank you for sharing this wonderful blessing. Thank you for going back to the truths of God's Word and back to the old fashioned hymns. God will bless you richly. It is great to listen to good sermons and good
music. Sacredaudio.com and sermonaudio.com are two good sources.
Keep challenging us too!
Hey Crystal!
I've been lurking for a little while now on here and Money Saving Mom. Shame on me, I know.
I just wanted to let you know what a blessing you have been for me and my family. This post comes at such a great time.
Thanks!
p.s. my fiance's name is Jesse. ;)
Thank you so much for posting this series! I have a two year old and a 3 week old and I can say I am pretty tired. I have not made any time for the Lord lately, as far as being in His Word. I am looking forward to reading your posts on this.
God Bless
Crystal <>< (SAHM)
Thank you for sharing from your heart. This was very encouraging me today!!
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