Lovin' That Man of Mine: Cheerfulness
Proverbs I've found that when I struggle the most with being cheerful it's when my eyes are not focused on the Lord, when I'm tired, and when I'm trying to do too much. And oftentimes, it's a combination of all three things.
If I'm especially having trouble with a grouchy attitude, it helps to step back and examine my heart: Am I trying to do things in my own strength? Am I resting in the Lord and looking to Him for my fulfillment and joy? Am I meditation on God's Word and taking time to encourage myself in the Lord? Am I trying to do too much? Have I been getting enough rest? Are my priorities in order?
I don't know about you, but I've found my husband would much rather have a messy house and a cheerful wife, than a well-organized and squeaky clean home and a high-strung, grumpy wife. We can't do it all, but we can look to the Lord to give us grace to accomplish what is most important. So let some unimportant things go, say "no" more often, take time every day to refresh yourself in the Lord, rest in His love, and exude the joy of the Lord to your family and especially to your husband!
A few practical ideas that help me:
::Take five minutes today to just look into your husband's eyes, smile, and tell him how thankful you are for him, how thankful you are for what God is doing in your life, or any other cheery words you'd like to express.
::Purpose to not say one negative or complaining word all day. Tell your family to remind you if you forget.
::Spend some time reading the Psalms or look up 15 verses in the Bible on joy and write them out on cards and tape them in various conspicuous locations all over your house.
::Feeling especially discouraged? Turn on some uplifting music and just start singing! Or vacuum your whole house and sing all your favorite songs while you do so. There's something about singing that just cheers you up and melts away stress and anxiety! I find old hymns to be incredibly comforting and sometimes when it seems like life is spinning out of control and I'm ready to pull my hair out, I'll just sit down with a hymn book and rock Kaitlynn and sing through 10 or 15 hymns. It's so soothing!
What helps you to have and keep a cheerful, joyful spirit? Share with us in the comments section and let's encourage each other to purposefully cultivate this important character quality.
Labels: Lovin' That Man of Mine
posted by Crystal Paine at 6:00 AM
17 Comments:
Great post. What causes me to return to the place (in my heart) of making Michael my priority is to remember the reality that I will stand before Jesus on THAT Day and answer as to how I fulfilled my biblical job of showing respect (adoration, reference, esteem, value, admiration, high opinion for) and I want that smile on His face and on his face. While I'm here, I want to leave a lasting legacy of a woman who lived on purpose - loving deeply and influencing other (women) to live biblically - especially in light of my husband.
And, besides, my man is so very worth my adoration, affection and admiration.
One of the things that was hard for me to learn when I first came home was that I need to rest during the day. My work extends through the whole day in a different way from my husband, whose primary work is outside of the home. So I make a point to give myself some restful treat to look forward to - a cup of tea and a magazine, for example - so that I'm not too tired to greet him and listen to him when he comes home.
It turns out it's very important to him that I do take care of myself like this, and just knowing that I do it makes hime happy.
I also aim to brighten up the house right before he gets home and have dinner as close to ready as possible. I turn on the lights on the first floor, unlock the door for him, maybe turn on some music, have the table set for dinner. This helps me mentally prepare for him to be there too.
I hope others post ideas - I have other ideas too, but I'd love to see what other people have come up with.
Jennifer
Staying in God's will keeps me joyful: looking for ways to serve my family, keeping busy at home, and, especially, remembering all of the reasons to be thankful.
Great post Crystal! Starting my day in prayer makes a big difference for me. Asking for God's grace to do what sometimes feels like the impossible - balancing working outside the home and being a wife, mother and homemaker. Also keeping a gratitude journal and reflecting on those things which Sarah Ban Breathnach calls "simple pleasures". The small things which really bring meaning and joy to our lives but are easily overlooked - the way the baby smiles, my daughter's laugh, the sparkle in my husband's eyes.
Wow, this is so timely for me. My husband and I were talking last night, and I was telling him how tired I've been, and he said he would much rather have a happy home, than a clean one.
Crystal, your experiences with being overwhelmed and unpleasant because you've taken too much on, sound so very familiar here! I guess we've all been there, as moms.
Thank you for this reminder! I'm taking the no-complaining challenge today! :)
Meeting with Him (God not dh) first thing, and being encouraged by Him. Playing sermons in the background while I go about my work. I also LOVE hymns, and listening to contemporary hymns or sitting down to sing and meditate on one with the hymn book in my hands when I am truly stressed, all of these things help.
The Word is so powerful, I remember hearing the suggestion once that Satan flees from the spoken Word of the Lord, and from worship. That he can not stand to be in the presence of those two things. I think it might be true, because man, things sure clear up for me when I speak, pray or sing the Word.
Nice post Crystal-
I make a little game out of what I can do for my hubby each day. Some times it is , just clean his dresser up, re folding his clothes, or getting his clothes ready for his p.t. job, make a little snack for him, etc... Oh how music just soothes the soul. I always put some one when my heart is sinking or the children are driving me nuts!! Have a wonderful day ladies.
I am surprised you don't do this as a link like Frugal Friday.
You are so right on about singing! I love to sing while doing the dishes and folding laundry...it makes the job go by so much quicker, and puts me in a great mood. This was another great post, Crystal...keep 'em coming so we can love our wonderful hubbys better! : )
So timely...it's a God thing. ;)
This very morning I got very grumpy with my husband over keeping our yard clean and perfect looking. I am off to Bible Study right now and when I return I'm going to follow your lead with lovin' my man and post a blog about it. Thanks Crystal!
Sarah
Thanks to those of you who have posted comments so far. I read today's title and huffed because I'd already pretty much blown it today. Two days ago we had a day that I'd gladly publish in a magazine; today...nearly polar opposite.
Hot weather, 9 months pregnant, tired, young kids with their own selfish priorities, and no one to clean up after ME or feel sorry for ME. (Boo hoo hoo!) I realize it's MY bad attitude, and it's SO hard to get the ball rolling the other direction! I did call an end to the Veggie Tale music and opted for some softer, worshipful favorites. I also resorted to letting the boys play their V. Smile game, since they only are allowed once or twice a week. It will at least give me a chance to read a couple of psalms, take a little nap, and hopefully "re-group" before toddler wakes up and hubby comes home.
Although today's post is not what I wanted to hear, it must be what I needed to hear.
Thanks,
Merrilee
Beautiful post. I really enjoy coming to get my inspiration for the day from you. It seems everyday you know exactly what my heart needs to hear. God bless your ministry!
LIBBY
Thanks for the post. I needed it to remind me. :)
Cheerful and joyful? It seems like lately I've been the exact opposite! Being at the end of a pregnancy and feeling like a zombie after chasing active little ones all day has made me look like the walking dead and I'm often so crabby and irritable. Whereas my hubby used to come home to a nice dinner and an attentive wife, and a straightened up home, lately he's been coming home to an exhausted wife, a messy kitchen where the dishes don't get done for days, and tales of kids who have been naughty or challenging and who are screaming and hollering for food while I wonder what I can possibly fix for supper in 5 minutes. (My usual weekly meal plan doesn't happen these days!) It is so nice of him to pitch in with dishes after working 10 hour days peeling logs/lifting logs in the hot sun. It is so nice of him not to complain about frozen pizza or PB and J sandwiches AGAIN. I really need to figure out how I can smile and be a joyful wife during this rough stage when I'm too tired to smile! Pregnancy absolutely kills me but it shouldn't be an excuse and I still need to think of his needs too.
Crystal, I love many blogs but yours is definately one where I know I can come anytime to be uplifted, inspired and (yes)even convicted. My main goal lately has been to be kinder and more appreciative toward my husband, and I found your words in this post to be just what I needed today. Bless you, my dear sister!
I can so empathize with so many of you other tired mommies out there. (My 13 month old has finally started sleeping through the night this week!) Of course seeking God's counsel and trying to please our husbands are ultimately our goals, but I want to reiterate Crystal's point of allowing yourself some flexibility by saying that sometimes you need to ask for help! It is our non-Christian independence-is-a-virtue culture that tells us we should be able to do it on our own. But we can't! God is our ultimate strength, but is there really anything wrong with asking your Mom for help, too? Or that really nice grandmotherly woman at church who always tells you how wonderful your children are, and to let her know if you need someone to watch them... and you never do! Ladies! Ask for help from your family- church or otherwise! It truly does take a village- something that can be hard to find in suburbia unless we TRY. And if you have doubts about asking for help- pray about it.
God Bless you all!
This post encouraged me. I knew I needed help in this area and this blog confirmed it. Thanks. I have so much to adore in my dh...I just need to tell and show him in more demonstrative ways.
Post a Comment
<< Home