If Only I Were Perfect
I've wished so much recently that I could find a way to have a spotlessly clean, organized, and well-decorated home, serve delicious and elaborate meals on time three times a day, spend the necessary time to maintain a business, while at same time not in any way neglecting my relationship with the Lord, my husband, or my daughter.
I wish I could get out of bed every morning at 5 a.m. to an immaculately clean home. I wish I could shower, dress, and fix my hair before anyone wakes up. I wish I could spend a solid hour of uninterrupted time reading the Bible and praying before I begin my day each and every morning. I wish I could have the house all perfectly cleaned and in order by 8 a.m. every morning (though, I guess if I woke up to it immaculate, I wouldn't even need to clean!). I wish that the laundry and dishes magically washed themselves and put themselves away or that I had a live-in maid.
I wish that I never said an unkind word or had an unkind thought. I wish that I would never disappoint my husband. I wish that I could spend all day everyday playing with my daughter. I wish I were never tired and had a boatload of energy all the time. I wish that I could live on 3 hours of sleep or less every night.
Instead, I'm just me. My house is often messy and always in need of some type of cleaning. I'm always behind in some area. I never get to spend as much time playing or reading with my daughter as I'd like. I'm forever behind on the ironing. My husband comes home some nights and I'm exhausted, the house is messy, dinner is only a figment of my imagination, and I'm still in my pajamas. I often say and do things that I regret. I fail in some area on an hourly basis and can easily become discouraged and overwhelmed.
Yes, sometimes I wish I were perfect. But, then I realize that if I were perfect, I'd never have anything to trust God about. I'd never need anyone to pray for me. I'd never need anyone's help. I'd never have to cry out to God for mercy when I'd failed yet again. I'd never need comfort from the Scriptures. And, I'd never know the depths of God's grace and mercy to one so undeserving as me.
Originally posted March 2006.
I wish I could get out of bed every morning at 5 a.m. to an immaculately clean home. I wish I could shower, dress, and fix my hair before anyone wakes up. I wish I could spend a solid hour of uninterrupted time reading the Bible and praying before I begin my day each and every morning. I wish I could have the house all perfectly cleaned and in order by 8 a.m. every morning (though, I guess if I woke up to it immaculate, I wouldn't even need to clean!). I wish that the laundry and dishes magically washed themselves and put themselves away or that I had a live-in maid.
I wish that I never said an unkind word or had an unkind thought. I wish that I would never disappoint my husband. I wish that I could spend all day everyday playing with my daughter. I wish I were never tired and had a boatload of energy all the time. I wish that I could live on 3 hours of sleep or less every night.
Instead, I'm just me. My house is often messy and always in need of some type of cleaning. I'm always behind in some area. I never get to spend as much time playing or reading with my daughter as I'd like. I'm forever behind on the ironing. My husband comes home some nights and I'm exhausted, the house is messy, dinner is only a figment of my imagination, and I'm still in my pajamas. I often say and do things that I regret. I fail in some area on an hourly basis and can easily become discouraged and overwhelmed.
Yes, sometimes I wish I were perfect. But, then I realize that if I were perfect, I'd never have anything to trust God about. I'd never need anyone to pray for me. I'd never need anyone's help. I'd never have to cry out to God for mercy when I'd failed yet again. I'd never need comfort from the Scriptures. And, I'd never know the depths of God's grace and mercy to one so undeserving as me.
Originally posted March 2006.
Labels: Encouragement
posted by Crystal Paine at 10:00 AM
12 Comments:
So true! Great post Crystal!
I think many women -- if not all women -- go through such frustrations off and on. I appreciate your
"keeping it real" and pointing us, in whatever stage of life, to the One on Whom we lean for strength.
Thank you!
I could have wrote that word for word! Thank you! I needed that reminder very much!
Perfect is boring. Perfect is too 'finished' with no room left to grow in any way! I'm sure everyone loves you just the way you are!
love the real life story. It speaks volumes of us just being woman. Thank you. ~lisa
This is me! So nice to have you say it, as so often you seem to have it all together. Feels better knowing that I'm not alone in this! :0)
Crystal,
This is why I keep coming back to your blog... You're 'not perfect', just like I'm not. It actually encourages me more to hear that than to visit those blogs where everything is perfect and they don't seem to struggle like I do. Thank you for being humble and real.
Helene
Thank you for posting this - seriously I needed to hear this tonight!! More than ever. (( hug )) God bless.
Beautiful! I feel this way all the time. I am glad I am not the only one! What would we do, Crystal, without the grace of God? It is scary to think about.
Kendra
When I read this post it reminded me of how I felt just a few nights ago and of the Scripture that the Lord provided to remind me that He is the One that makes us clean and right, nothing of ourselves.
Isa 6:5-7
5Then I said,
"Woe is me, for I am ruined!
Because I am a man of unclean lips,
And I live among a people of unclean lips;
For my eyes have seen the King, the LORD of hosts."
6Then one of the seraphim flew to me with a burning coal in his hand, which he had taken from the altar with tongs.
7He touched my mouth with it and said, "Behold, this has touched your lips; and your iniquity is taken away and your sin is forgiven."
Amen!
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