A recipe for disaster
While Kathrynne and I were out grocery shopping today we passed by two frantic parents with three screaming children. A few years ago, I probably would have turned my nose up and criticized: how can anyone let their children act so horribly?
But, I'm a mom now.
Maybe Kathrynne was sitting in the shopping cart today acting like a little, beautiful angel when we passed by these upset children, but I vividly recall last week, at the almost exact same spot in the store...
It all started when I made the mistake of going shopping during lunchtime with a hungry child. Not a good recipe to start out with, especially when you are going to a store full of food. We barely made it through the first store without incident, but her endurance was waning thin by the time we pulled up to the second store.
I can handle this, I thought, and quickly whipped out part of a candy bar to give to her (I know, I know, I usually am more health-conscious, but it was the only thing I could quickly get my hands on to give to her). That quieted her down for the moment.
Then I realized I didn't have a quarter and we were at Aldi. No quarter, no cart. Oh well, I can handle this, too, I tell myself, after all, I only have a short list today.
I proceed into the store with a finicky, candy-bar eating child in tow. We get inside and I try to put her down so I can attempt to carry everything in a box. No good. She wants to be held.
I pick her up again not realizing she has melted candy bar chocolate all over her hands. Now I have it all over the back and front of my shirt. Oh well, I think, I'm a mom. I guess I'll just look the part. Don't all moms have stains on their shirts?
We make it to the last aisle and I'm now precariously balancing the overloaded diaper bag, daughter, and box full of food, trying to keep her sticky chocolate hands off of me all the while, and trying to figure out how I'm going to squeeze the last few items I need in my box without dropping the whole lot.
I begin to have visions of accidentally dropping it and spilling the jar of spaghetti sauce all over the floor; it would be just like something I would do today.
As I shove the last few items in my box, Kathrynne begins to cry. Her crying gets louder and louder. Even the candy bar is not working anymore. Nothing I say or do will calm her. My arms feel like they are about ready to fall off and I'm getting more and more chocolate on my shirt as she's waving her arms in frustration.
Finally, I just set everything down, wipe off her hands and face, take away the chocolate bar, and try to comfort her.
People are passing us right and left and I'm sure they are thinking: how can anyone let their child act so horribly?
Oh well, I don't care anymore. I'm not a perfect mom and I don't have a perfect child. That is life. When they have children of their own, I'm guessing they'll be much more forgiving.
Originally posted June 2006.
But, I'm a mom now.
Maybe Kathrynne was sitting in the shopping cart today acting like a little, beautiful angel when we passed by these upset children, but I vividly recall last week, at the almost exact same spot in the store...
It all started when I made the mistake of going shopping during lunchtime with a hungry child. Not a good recipe to start out with, especially when you are going to a store full of food. We barely made it through the first store without incident, but her endurance was waning thin by the time we pulled up to the second store.
I can handle this, I thought, and quickly whipped out part of a candy bar to give to her (I know, I know, I usually am more health-conscious, but it was the only thing I could quickly get my hands on to give to her). That quieted her down for the moment.
Then I realized I didn't have a quarter and we were at Aldi. No quarter, no cart. Oh well, I can handle this, too, I tell myself, after all, I only have a short list today.
I proceed into the store with a finicky, candy-bar eating child in tow. We get inside and I try to put her down so I can attempt to carry everything in a box. No good. She wants to be held.
I pick her up again not realizing she has melted candy bar chocolate all over her hands. Now I have it all over the back and front of my shirt. Oh well, I think, I'm a mom. I guess I'll just look the part. Don't all moms have stains on their shirts?
We make it to the last aisle and I'm now precariously balancing the overloaded diaper bag, daughter, and box full of food, trying to keep her sticky chocolate hands off of me all the while, and trying to figure out how I'm going to squeeze the last few items I need in my box without dropping the whole lot.
I begin to have visions of accidentally dropping it and spilling the jar of spaghetti sauce all over the floor; it would be just like something I would do today.
As I shove the last few items in my box, Kathrynne begins to cry. Her crying gets louder and louder. Even the candy bar is not working anymore. Nothing I say or do will calm her. My arms feel like they are about ready to fall off and I'm getting more and more chocolate on my shirt as she's waving her arms in frustration.
Finally, I just set everything down, wipe off her hands and face, take away the chocolate bar, and try to comfort her.
People are passing us right and left and I'm sure they are thinking: how can anyone let their child act so horribly?
Oh well, I don't care anymore. I'm not a perfect mom and I don't have a perfect child. That is life. When they have children of their own, I'm guessing they'll be much more forgiving.
Originally posted June 2006.
Labels: Mothering
posted by Crystal Paine at 4:34 PM
14 Comments:
Good point!
I enjoyed this story very much--helps me to realize that there is not a "perfect" mom...maybe we are perfect in our imperfection? haha
And I have to confess I have thought the same thing about people with screaming kids in the store (in my defense...they are usually the kids yelling and running the aisles!) But your point is well taken...one day I'll probably not feel like doing anything about it and let me kid run around and yell...
thanks for sharing!
Amen!! I had so many things that MY kids were not going to do before I had them! Never say never :-). It's hard when you're child is acting up to remember that there are people who understand what you are going through and are not judging you as a bad mom.
I am so glad you are human too! I love your honesty! I've had those days too.
That is life indeed! A good reminder to not judge other moms.
And a great story--I totally felt your frustration!
Oh Crystal,
I remember when this happened to you....you've grown so much since then!!! Hee hee. I love the part where you say "I just don't care anymore" in relation to what people think. You have some very good advice right there....you do your best with what you've got and well, hey.....life ISN'T perfect, in fact, as we all know....it is really, really messy sometimes!!! But chocolate.....I'm ok with being messed up by that. HA!
Ah, the humiliations motherhood can bring. :p
I have had many such moments. Worsened by my speaking rather sharply to my [temporarily] naughty children. I often wonder if people assume our every day life is as miserable as those snapshots they may get at the grocery store. It's not. Really. :D
Oh my, this could be a story directly from my own life. Now that I have a daughter I am SO much more sympathetic to the poor parents with the screaming children. It is embarrassing and sometimes unavoidable. Thank you for the reminder!
Oh how that could be my story so many times over :-) You're a great mom Crystal! Aren't you so glad they get older and you can reason with them!?!?!
~Jennifer K
Hi! I saw your blog on Alicia's 'Small Town Girl' blog and thought I'd stop by for a visit...and I am so glad I did. I really enjoyed my time on your site.
My very first blog entry was about taking my kids grocery shopping, so I really related to what you were writing about here. Its so easy to judge when you haven't walked where someone else has. I still make that mistake, judging other people's children in public, but I am so much more understanding and compassionate than I was prior to becoming a mother.
Keep up the great writing!
~Beth
Dear Crystal; I have something for you, once you get back to the computer. :) You've won a blog award! See my blog for more details.
A grocery store where you have to pay for a cart???
You were brave, and I can totally relate! Thanks for sharing.
Very good story, thanks for being real on your blog!
My firstborn was a very easygoing child and just naturally obedient. I thought it was all due to my wonderful parenting skills, and I was very judgmental of other parents who didn't have children as perfect as mine. My dd would sit quietly through nearly a two-hour long church service as a toddler, sit sweetly in the cart at the grocery store, and come when called at the playground. I got many compliments on her behavior, and I patted myself on the back.
Then my son came along. He has a totally different personality and thus began my lessons in humility. For the first time I found myself dealing with temper tantrums, hyperactivity, and stubbornness. (Sometimes I joke that had my son been my firstborn, I would have never had another child!)
As I got older and had more children, my tendency to judge other moms or families gradually diminished. :)
Glad you posted this one from the archives. I "just don't care anymore" either--and thank goodness!!
Glad you're having some time off and enjoying your family. WE MISS YOU, though, and will be happy to see you back...
Phebe
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