Frugal Friday: A life of less
I stumbled across OwlHaven's 30 Days of Nothing Challenge last week and have been very inspired and motivated by it. We're in a season of life where we are splurging more for survival so I can't join in full-force, but I look forward to when our family can do something similar in the not-too-distant future.Contemplating this challenge, I realized that while we do spend much more money than we absolutely need to, we are quite frugal compared to most who live in the United States.
We buy used clothes, used cars, and used furniture. We have basic cell phone plans and no cable service. We eat simple meals on Wal-Mart dishware, we plan our menus based upon what is on sale at the store and what we have on hand in our cupboards, and we have only spent more than $40 on a dinner out a handful of times in our married life.
We don't have expensive addictions, we don't go to movies, we use our exercise equipment that we bought off of CraigsList instead of having a gym membership, and we don't pay for any newspaper or magazine subscriptions. We try to keep our furnishings and clothing to a minimum and only have what we love and use. The girls only have a few toys, we borrow books and movies from the library instead of buying them, and we are always on the lookout for ways to have free fun.
Most of all, we only buy things we can pay cash for and we try to carefully evaluate our motives for all purchases made.
Compared to most Americans, we are ridiculous for making the decisions we do and living the lifestyle we live. But you know what? We don't care; we long ago gave up worrying about what "the Jones' family" might think of us.
Looking back, the first two years of our marriage were literally "Two Years of Nothing." Most of the time, we didn't have any wiggle room in the budget for anything that wasn't a pretty basic necessity and so we went without. I even fondly recall the week we needed to buy more fish food and I couldn't scrape together the extra $2 needed to buy it, so we had to wait until the next pay period. (Somehow the fish survived over a week with no food and went on to live another few years!)
Those were difficult years and they were stretching years. We didn't make our needs known to anyone else, but we spent countless hours praying for God's provision. And what a faithful Provider He always was! We learned to rely upon Him for our daily bread and we never went hungry, were never without a roof over our heads, and always had clothes to wear.
These "Two Years of Nothing" were some of the best years of our life! Our marriage was strengthened, our faith was tested, and our frugality was stretched. And we wouldn't trade it for anything.
Yes, we've given ourselves a lot more wiggle room in the budget now than we ever had back then, but we've also found that there are a lot of things you can live without and still have a wonderful and satisfying life. So while we're not joining in the 30 Day of Nothing Challenge this go -around, we are actively pursuing a life of less.
After all, I'd much rather live on less and have more money and time to invest in what's really important--those things which will last for Eternity!
**Note: I did want to mention, lest anyone misunderstand, that I don't believe there is anything inherently wrong with buying new things, or going to expensive restaurants on a regular basis, or paying for subscriptions, and so forth. Not everyone needs to make the same choices in their life that we have made!
After all, I know that we splurge on some things that other frugal folks would find very extravagant. And sometime in the future, in different circumstances, we might make different spending choices than we're making now. However, we want to always evaluate our motives for everything we do and every dollar we spend. If we don't have a good reason for doing it and we can't afford it, we need to step back and re-consider.
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Have a frugal tip or thought to share? Post about it on your blog and then come back here and leave your link below so we can all be motivated and inspired. Please do not post anything related to Halloween (email me if you have questions on that), remember to keep it family-friendly, and post directly to your blog post, not to your blog homepage. Links going to the homepage of your blog or any other part of your blog besides the direct link to your Frugal Friday post will be deleted.
Labels: Frugal Friday
posted by Crystal Paine at 10:25 PM
31 Comments:
There is a great deal of simplicity to be found in being frugal, living simply, not having cable, brand new cars, clothes, furniture. The old "buyer's remorse" is not something I've felt in years...as I know I am being a good steward of my money!
It is so encouraging to hear how you struggled your first years of marriage, and continue to live on less, and yet have been so blessed in the process. If more Americans would just adopt this lifestyle, how much better we all would be! I can't imagine buying a brand new car, or brand new furniture! What a waste, when there are so many good, used things out there! I appreciate you, and everyone else out there, who doesn't care about keeping up with the Jones'. Thank you, Crystal, for being a shining, frugal example in such a consumer driven world!
I have found that by paying tithing, The Lord always provides a way for us to accomplish the things we need to do. A beautiful post as always. Thank you!
I think you make a great point that frugality and moderation are *not* the American way anymore. My husband and I practice many of the same things that you do: basic cell phone plans, no cable (no tv either, actually), borrowing movies and books from the library, driving used cars, and buying less house than we can afford. And you know what? We're weird for it! As Dave Ramsey says, however, "If that's normal, I don't want to be normal." I don't think there's anything inherently wrong with new cars, subscriptions, and nice things (not at all!), but I think that most of the people who are buying them probably shouldn't be. The standard of living in the U.S. is inflated so far beyond peoples' means at this point, it's frightening. Have you ever seen the documentary Maxed Out? It's really good!
We're doing the 30 days of nothing... and it's true. What we Americans consider as a necessities are not needed at all.
More than anything, I am thankful for the blessings God has given us- instead of being greedy and wanting more, I need to see how blessed I am. How can I bless others in the name of Christ?
Great post Crystal! I totally agree, I wouldn't trade our early "poor" years for the world. Without them we wouldn't know what to do with our money now, and I think we'd be a lot more wasteful. We also learned how to make frugality fun, and that makes all the difference.
Jennifer
What an uplifting post. Praise God for His faithfulness!
I struggle with having enough time to get everything done. I made some thing to help me with this task and am also having a give-a-way for my readers. Hop on over and take a look:
http://radicoollife.blogspot.com/2008/09/tgif-giveaway-being-frugal-with-my-time.html
I hate to think of how much money we wasted when we were a two career couple. The mindset around us was that we earned our money so we could SPEND it. We just weren't taught any different.
I've had to live on a tight budget for a long time now and I've learned it is much more fun to seek out very inexpensive bargains than to drive to the mall and pay $60.00 for a blouse.
Our philosophies are similar, Crystal, in the fact that by making more frugal choices one can achieve some of their goals and dreams. For you and your family, your dream will hopefully be a home paid-in-full with cash. Right now for us, living tightly on a smaller income allows me to still be at home on an income that many say is not possible to do.
You are right when you say that it's not wrong for people to buy/do some of the things you mention you don't.
However, I wonder if many people by simply cutting back or eliminating some splurges or many of the things they think they deserve could achieve some of their own goals/dreams?
For example, since there is not a lot of extra for us to cut back anymore, I am currently reducing my grocery bill to about $30/week for 2 (with food allergies). We are still eating healthy! By doing this it is allowing me to put aside extra money for savings and other needs we have.
Is it easy to sacrifice and go against the grain? No, but in the end I find that reaching the goal is much more satisfying than any short-term gratification.
When you have time, go back and read her 30 days from two years ago. They did a day of washing laundry by hand, and I *think* a day of no electricity. It was fascinating.
So glad to know there are other frugal people out there. We too don't buy into this ideal that if I want it, I should buy it. We adhere to, if I can't afford it, too bad, it has to wait.
Thanks for the post.
I concur! It is encouraging to know how you lived in the early years of your marriage, since that is where my husband and I are right now. :) It's actually not as bad as some might think, though there are times when that $2 could come in mighty handy.
A while back, I'm not even sure how long ago now, you asked about stain removers for set-in stains. I'm just now catching up on blog reading and things. I hope you solved your dilemma. I don't have a solution for that particular problem. However, if you find yourself out of stain remover again, I've used Basic H to soak my garments in and it's a wonderful stain remover. It's gotten pretty much everything ever spilled. :) I know you use that for cleaning, so you keep it on hand.
I don't think it's only an American way of life. I'm from a diff country (Philippines)and also grew up spending a lot. A lot of middle class there also keep up with the Jones's and people are more dressed-up and beautful instead of investing in homes/retirement, etc. Our culture has been so westernized that what they see in Hollywood or tv like fashion, people try to imitate too. This is also one area in my life that I'm struggling right now coz I need to change my ways. We're just newlyweds too living on 1 family income and just found out that it's hard but at least, the life here is nicer like being able to secure homes even if it's just through mortgage and healthcare is better here too. I used to be so fashionable, like having new clothes and always dining out at posh malls but now, I'm trying hard to reverse everything. It also helps that my husband is a simple man so he keeps me grounded lol. But everytime I see pics of my family, I sometimes become envious because they have a nice life and I'm praying that God forgive me and help me stop feeling that way.
And it's still part of our culture that clothes are washed by hands and hung in clothes racks there. There are washing machines but a lot don't bother buying it. We had helpers to do that in Philippines but I also washed my shirts so they won't get stained. I just want to share that too. I noticed my shirts get color-fade fast and a lot of threads come off when I use the washing machine and dryer but I still use them because I'm not strong enough to wash all of our clothes lol.
Crystal,
How do you get your coupons if you don't get a newspaper?
-Learning
Thanks for this post, Crystal! My husband and I had about a year of nothing as well when we were married nearly 3 years ago. We were both in college, and had measly little part time jobs. Somehow, we paid for rent, gas (we each had to commute 1 hour each way for school - separately!), food, utilities and an occational movie with friends...we were college students, after all! We had to have SOME fun! And I we made less than $1000/month between the two of us.
It was such a great time of relying on God's provision! I wholeheartedly agree that these times can stretch us and teach us and bless us more than anyone ever knows. I appreciate your reminder today :)
~tina
Learning: We stopped subscribing to the paper when they raised the rates. I decided to try it and see if I could get creative in collecting coupons without a newspaper subscription. And I have!
I pick them up off of tearpads at the store, I get them from people who don't want or use them, and I also get them from the recycling bin. Between those sources, I usually have many more coupons than I need and am able to pass on extras to others!
Crystal-
I completely agree with all you said. My husband decided to leave his good paying job to go back to school just months after getting married. Those years were rough for us but something I do again. We learned so much about each other. One thing I would recommend that we wished we might have done is every few months splurge and go out on a date that cost money. We were so focused on living debt free I think sometimes we forgot to "live".
Marion
Reading through your post I felt like I was reading about my own life. I remember our fear of having children and how we were living pay check to pay check but if we waited to have children until we had extra money I would be without my sons. We buy and sell on Ebay and never get new items unless someone gave us a gift card. They I think about selling them on Ebay for extra money. Thank you for your post it made me feel like I'm not the only one out there not buying brand new everything!
In our second year of marriage my husband went back to school and we moved away from family and friends. Sound familiar?
We were broke. We lived off of homemade bread, dried beans, avocados and crackers for about 2 months. I think I spent around $10 for that food back in 1981.
When a part on our car broke, my husband glued it back together. He hitched rides to school with another classmate when we didn't have gas money. When we did have gas money, then he would drive the two of them to class.
We went for several months without eating out as we just couldn't. The first time we ate out after going back to school, we went to DerWeinerschnitzel and split a hot dog : ) We felt so extravagant!
Those were lean times. But there were only 2 of us then and we could do without.
We have always lived frugally like you do, but frugal isn't the same when 2 becomes 11 : ) I smiled at your $40 dinner example.
If we end up in town without travel food and we need to eat, it is so easy for us to spend $30! And that's eating off the $ menu at fast food places or splitting meals at a sit down (which is then closer to $40 at least). That's when Costco pizza and hot dogs come in handy. But that's still $25-$30!
I used to be better at planning so we didn't need to eat out in town, as we live far from town. But as the family has grown and the pace has increased and I don't always make the plans anymore, it just doesn't happen as much as it used to. So, I guess our biggest splurge is eating out when we're in town.
Life now is MUCH different than when there were just 2 of us, or 4 of us or even 6 of us : ) As the children grow up, life changes a lot!
As you're learning, we must learn to be flexible while still being good stewards with God's money!
In Him,
Laralee
http://PlymouthRockRanch.com
Recording the Faithfulness and Provision of God for Future Generations
I am so pleased to hear that we are not the only family that does not have cable TV! This is a great post. Now that I stay home with DS, it seems like we have a *richer* life than we did when we had 2 incomes, and I think the frugality we practice is the reason why. I like the way frugality brings out one's creativity, too.
Just found your site...appreciate the frugal tips! Thanks!
Laralee: You are absolutely right that things change as the family grows... I well remember how much food our family of nine could consume growing up!
Oh and if you haven't yet, you'll want to check out the blog I linked to doing the 30 Days of Nothing Challenge. They have 12 in their family and are eating for $200 this month. She's sharing how they are doing it and their menus every day; it's fascinating and inspiring!
We do things the frugal way in Australia too!
We buy so much stuff from garage sales, thrift stores, and flea markets, that I get a shock on rare trips to the mall when I see how much things cost new!
I'm a classic/ vintage girl anyway, so a lot of new stuff doesn't appeal anyway!
WE don't have pay (cable) TV,our only splurge cost is 2 mobile phones for my hubby as he has a rare heart defect. On the rare occasion I go out alone in the car & leave him home, I borrow one of his phones. (I keep forgetting you call them cell phones over there!)
Claire
I'll bet the Jones family is insanely jealous of you because according to Dave Ramsey they're up to their eyeballs in debt!!
You are a wonderful inspiration and I really admire your frugality; I am striving to be more that way myself. It is so important to teach our children that relying on material things may supplies a momentary happiness, but relying on God provides an eternity of true joy. Keep up the amazing work!
I have been following your deals for quite sometime now. I am asking for all the prayer warriors help me fight for my life. I am 38 and just found out about 4weeks ago that I have breat cancer. I am using my blog to keep up with my journey. I would like everyone to pray for a miracle.
Cindy
e with your statement that even though those 2 first years of marriage were really tough, you wouldn't change them.
I feel exactly the same way about our first 3 years of marriage. There were times when the crisis pregnancy center I volunteered at sent care parcels of food home with me so that they knew my husband, our small daughter and I would have some food on our plates for the next few days. This taught us great humility and was God's way of providing for us at times.
We learned and grew so much and that time was formative in our faith and character building. Whats more, we were and still are determined to always remember those times, with joy and thanksgiving and not with pain or grief, so that we never become ungrateful, complacent or take anything for granted and also so that we may be sympathetic to others in similar positions.
Interesting that splurging doesn't feel like splurging if you live large all the time.
So, an unexpected benefit of living frugally is that a moderate indulgance, like going out to dinner, means more.
What wonderful memories my husband and I have of our first 4 years of marriage! He went back to school in our 2nd year of marriage and I worked to get us through as a secretary. The Lord provided the job for me (a miracle in itself) and "just enough" to get us through. God is always faithful. He is all the time and even now with many children. Those early years of frugal living has shaped all aspects of life to this day, 24 years later!
Thanks for the post,
Rosa
(the email wouldnt let me send this, so i'm sorry it's on a comment. could you reply via email by any chance? my email is Pineapple2744@aol.com )
Hello, Mrs. Crystal.
My name is Samantha. I'm 17, and from Alabama. I've read your blog for quite a while, and am very encouraged by it, and check it pretty much every day for updates. I see you have nothing against saving a dollar! My sister recently had her first baby! She and her husband just how much money goes into this bundle of joy. My mother and I try helping, getting coupons and freebies online. I was just wondering if you had any advice I can share with my sister on how to stretch a dollar more when it comes to baby supplies.
God bless you and your family!
~Samantha
I'm a little late, but I added a post I did on tips left in my comments section and some things I do.
I agree frugality or moderation just being a good steward of your money is just not the norm, but maybe this will change due to the financial crisis America is in!
I really enjoy your blog and get alot out of reading your readers comments too!
Manuela
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