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Saying "yes" to less
 A butterfly at the Omaha Zoo Butterfly Garden
Our family stole away this past weekend to Omaha, Nebraska just to be together as a family, refresh our spirits in the Lord, and take time seek the Lord and make some goals for the next few months of our life. It was the perfect timing for such a vacation: I was feeling like life was beginning to spin out of control and I felt frustration and chaos in my heart and life instead of peace. The very first morning, I got up early and made out a long list on a yellow pad of my current life goals. I realized, in writing out these goals, that most of the lack of quietness I'd be feeling in my heart and the lack of organization we'd be experiencing in our home was, in large part, the result of busyness. For two months, we'd been running here and there, doing-doing-doing, going-going-going. After four years of staying home almost 90% of the time, going somewhere every day or every other day was taking its toll on me, on our home, and on our family. As I reviewed my list of priorities and goals, I realized the only way we would be able to accomplish those goals or have my priorities in order would be by God's grace and a lot less busyness. Jesse agreed wholeheartedly. And so, we're cutting back and saying "yes" to less--less busyness and fewer outside-the-home commitments and outings. In other seasons of life, we might be able to do more and go more. In this season, my husband and I feel God is calling us to keep it simple and stay home more--a lot more. I need to focus my time and energies on raising and training my daughters; they are only little once and I don't want to squander this season with busyness. I'm looking forward to a Fall filled with baking in the kitchen with the girls, snuggling up and reading stories on the couch as a family, playing outdoors and digging in the dirt with Kathrynne (don't ask me why, but she loves dirt!), more quiet time for reading and studying God's Word, and, Lord-willing, many special memories made. Most of all, I want to be still before the Lord, listen to His voice, and soak up His goodness and the beauty of His creation. I want to say "yes" to less--and cut back on less of the many "good things" my life has been wrapped up in which are seeking to rob me of investing my life in the best things.  Related: Stephanie's post on a similar topic was a great encouragement to me as I was seeking the Lord on this. Labels: Avoiding Burn Out, Home Management and Organization
The myth of "having it all together"
I always find it rather amusing when someone will write me about how I have it "all together". Apparently you missed my living room this morning (I can't believe I'm posting this picture, but for the sake of keeping it real, here you go.):  My heart's desire is to glorify the Lord as a wife, mom, and homemaker. I want to bless my husband, wisely raise my children, and be a skilled homemaker. And I want to do all of those things well. However, I'm learning that I can't do it all well all of the time. None of us can, in fact. We all have struggles and difficult days. We all have days when we wish we could throw in the towel--if we could only find a clean one! I was so blessed to get to visit with a wise mother of many recently. She encouraged me so much by sharing how their life has changed as their children have gotten older and how much easier it is for her to do so many things that she never could have done when she only had young children. One thing which especially stuck with me was her comment, "If a mom in your season of life looks like she has it all together all the time, something is suffering drastically somewhere."Do you know what a blessing these words were to hear? I've struggled with many feelings of inadequacy since having my second child because I just can't do it all; I've had to cut back in so many areas, and let so many other things go. And I've struggled with guilt over this, thinking thoughts like: If I only tried harder, got up earlier, was more organized... then maybe I could "get my act together". While I should certainly strive for organization and definitely am not condoning laziness, I'm slowly learning in this season of my life there's no way our home can always look immaculate all the time. I might as well just cheerfully accept this fact, otherwise, I'll constantly be frustrated over the spilled juice, tracked-in mud, and stained laundry. What matters more in Eternity? That my home and life looked perfect and all my ducks were in a row, or that I overlooked some of the cookie crumbs, marks on the wall, and dirty dishes in order to love on my children, bless my husband, and have a vibrant relationship with the Lord? So, do I have it all together? Not by a long stretch. But I'm learning it's much better to let go of perfectionism and start resting in the perfect peace Christ can give me--even when my house looks like a stuff bomb exploded! I'd love to hear from the rest of you: How do you overcome feelings of perfectionism and inadequacies? What advice would you "older moms" have for us young moms in this area?Related: After I wrote this post, I found my friend FishMama had written something in a similar vein today here. Good stuff. Labels: Home Management and Organization
Help for the overwhelmed
 I am having trouble with time management. Specifically, organizing all of the great ideas I have, managing projects, completing daily tasks, and the like. My house is organized physically (this is my strength), but I get overwhelmed with daily living. Any direction you can point me in would be great. -Elizabeth First off, Elizabeth, I don't think there is any woman among us who never goes through seasons where she feels overwhelmed with life. I've had plenty of those myself. I know that when I start feeling overwhelmed, it is usually because of a combination of three reasons: 1) I am trying to do things in my own strength instead of resting in the Lord.
2) I am doing more than God wants me to do.
3) I am mismanaging the time God has given me.The solution?
1) Stop trying to do things in my own strength.We have a saying at our home which we often quote, "Stress is an indication you are not resting in the Lord." When I am feeling completely at my wit's end, Jesse will often remind me of this and it helps put everything in perspective. God didn't call me to a life of stress and anxiety. Yes, there will be many hard things, many things which can overwhelm me if I let them, and many things which will stretch me beyond what I thought possible. But He has promised to never leave me or forsake me, to give me wisdom when I ask for it, to bear my burdens, and to give me grace sufficient for the need at hand. I was listening to A Mighty Fortress is Our God a few days ago while overseeing Kathrynne playing nearby, carrying Kaitlynn in the sling, and putting the clean dishes away. I was meditating on the words to this song and all of a sudden, this phrase jumped out like never before: "Did we in our own strength confide? Our striving would be losing..."Having two little children has forced me, like never before, to realize how weak and needy I am in and of myself. I can't live this life God has called me to in my own strength, but I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me. Without His grace, I will fail. So, first off, when feeling overwhelmed, I encourage you to go to the Lord and cast your burdens and cares upon Him. Ask Him to carry them for you and to give you the grace to live one day at a time. He is faithful and will answer us and help us, if we but only will ask! 2) Stop doing more than God wants me to do.Often, I'm overwhelmed not just because I am trusting in myself, but also because I am taking upon myself more than God wants me to. It took me a number of years to learn and I'm sure it's a lesson I'll have to continue re-learning, but when I finally realized I can't do it all and there's no point in trying, it really simplified my life. There are many good things to spend one's life on--many needs, many worthwhile causes, and many wonderful people. However, I am only one person and there is no way I can fulfill all the needs, support all the causes, or have close friendships with hundreds of people. But, I can choose wisely from the good things for what things are the best things for me to invest my life in. So how do I discern what God wants me to be doing? For me, it starts with making sure I have my priorities in order. My desire is that my primary focus is: God, Jesse, Kathrynne and Kaitlynn, and keeping my home--and in that order. It's easy to think we have those things as our priority when maybe we really do not. Here is a sort of checklist I use for personal examination to help me determine whether I am truly having my priorities in order:First: God--If my relationship with God is not right, nothing else will be right in my life. So I try to examine often whether He is in first place in my life. Is He my All-in-All? Am I evidencing this by my daily life? Am I spending time reading His Word and praying everyday? Am I fellowshipping with Him on a daily basis? Is my life bearing fruit? Second: Jesse--Are his needs being met? Is his love tank full? Have I shown him in practical ways today how much I love him, admire him, and appreciate him? Does he feel like he is the most important priority in life next to the Lord? (These are questions I try to ask myself and my husband very frequently.) Third: Kathrynne and Kaitlynn--Am I being a loving mother? Am I putting the needs of my children before other less important things or are they having to wait on me to finish "my things" first? Do my children feel that I am often too busy for them? Am I spending quality time investing in my children's lives--teaching and training them up in the ways of the Lord and setting a Godly example before them? Fourth: Home--Is my home a welcoming haven for all those enter into it? Does my family have nutritious meals to eat and clean clothes to wear? Is there order in our home or does chaos and clutter abound? Now please know that I am no perfect homemaker, wife, and mother. Nor do I fulfill all of the above things perfectly all the time. However, my desire is that I don't just say my relationship with the Lord and my husband, home, and family are my priorities, I want to truly live it. If I am neglecting any of these areas, I need to cut out any and all other "extra things" (volunteering, ministering to others, hobbies, etc.) from my life until I can once again have my priorities in order. Next, I go to the Lord and my husband for wisdom concerning what they would have me to be doing. If I am feeling overwhelmed with life, Jesse and I will go over what I am currently doing and see what things we can eliminate or downsize. It is so freeing to have Jesse helping me make these decisions and give his input! I've found that if it weren't for his guidance, I would often be over-committing myself, so I am very thankful that God leads through him! Hard as it is for me, I've learned that it really and truly is okay to say "no." In fact, it's a good thing to say "no" to those things which would detract us from the best things. You only have one life to live. Choose wisely, choose well, and continuously be examining those choices in light of what is the best investment of your time for the glory of God. 3) Start managing the time God has given me more wisely.*
Not only is it vital that I rely upon the Lord for grace, and also important to eliminate things from my life which are not the best things for me to be investing my time in, it is also imperative that I seek to manage the time God has given me in the wisest possible way.
There have been many books and resources written on the subject of time management and I've read and gleaned from many of them. The thing that I have learned is that there is no one perfect system which will work for everyone in every season of their life. So don't try to pattern your home organization and family schedule as a replica of some else's. Determine what works best for your individual family. I am a person with lots of ideas always rolling around in my head--new skills I want to learn, books I want to read, books I want to write, entrepreneurial ideas I want to pursue, home improvements I want to work on, events I want to plan, subjects I want to study in-depth, and on and on it goes. And then there is the never-ending list of things I want to teach and do with the girls. There is no way I can do everything but by using my time wisely, I can slowly chip away at this never-ending list. At this season of my life, I have found that having a simple routine works best. I need structure and the girls need structure for our life to run in a somewhat orderly fashion, but with having little children, you can't be completely rigid just because there's lots of unpredictable things which come up in the course of the day! Life is never boring, that's for sure! Our simple routine which includes all of the basic things we need to do in a day and/or week to survive--nursing Kaitlynn, showers/baths, meals, laundry, basic cleaning--and then it includes some things which Jesse and I feel are important that we include in the day--such as reading God's Word together, reading biographies and other good books to the girls, and teaching and training them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord. We don't always get to everything on the routine in a day, nor do we always follow it completely in order, but we use it as a guideline to keep order, structure, and stability in our lives. Without a guideline, chaos ensues. In addition to the simple routine which I have typed up and posted in a prominent place and refer to often throughout the day, I also have a daily to-do list for myself which I write out each evening before going to bed, or in the morning as soon as I wake up. These are sometimes things which must be done (bills which need to be paid, phone calls which need to be made, and so forth) and also things which I would like to get to if I have time. Most of the things on the list are things which I do "in the cracks"--using little snippets of time here and there which present themselves during the day. I rarely check off everything on my list in any given day, but I usually numerate the list so that the most important things get done first. If I get to nonessentials, wonderful. If not, that's completely okay, too. Nonessentials can always wait until tomorrow. I've found that what works best for me is to use daily planning pages (I purchased mine through Franklin Covey) and put a month of them in my planner at a time. This way, if I think of something I need to accomplish later on in the week, or in two weeks, I can jot it down to be reminded on that day. And since these planning pages give you a two-page spread for each day, there is plenty of space to jot down all sorts of things. Right now, I am using them to plan everything--from jotting down complete breakfast, lunch, and dinner plans for the day, to blog post ideas which hit me while I'm washing dishes, to reminders to send someone a birthday card. Above all, rest in the Lord, put first things first, keep it simple, don't over-commit yourself, seek to wisely invest your time, and enjoy living the wonderful life God has given to you! Two books I read recently on the subject of time management which I would highly recommend are How To Have A 48-Hour Day by Don Aslett and Shopping for Time. *A quick word here on time management: I think some times we can get so wrapped up into trying to "accomplish things," be productive, use every minute, and check things off of our to-do list, that we miss out on the simple joys of life. I try to evaluate all of my activities in light of, "Will this matter in ten years from now?" or "Will this matter in eternity?" Never be too busy "accomplishing things" that you overlook or neglect the most important things - the things which really matter in this life. Don't live life at such a breakneck speed because you are trying to get a lot done, that you can't enjoy life and the people God has placed around you in the process. I say this because I have definitely been guilty of it many times in the past. For us Type A, driven overachievers, slowing down and stopping to smell the proverbial roses can be a really healthy thing! Graphic from Art.com
Originally published July 2007.
Labels: Finding Time, Home Management and Organization
Guest Post: On the way to a more structured life
Guest Post by Sherrin Drew from A Deeper Love
I've long wondered how to implement a workable schedule, and tried it a few times with a sheet divided up into 30-minute time slots. Crystal has rightly pointed out that starting out like this generally does not work!
In contrast, Crystal's encouragement to do the same five things in the same order every morning seemed very achievable. It was not dependent upon completing things in time. I just needed to get through the five things each morning. Here are my five things: - Have breakfast and pray. I use my daily prayer cards while I prepare breakfast and while eating. Usually, my husband is not up yet.
- Wash, dress, and make the bed.
- Do my exercises for my back problem.
- Scripture memory and Bible reading.
- Go for a walk.
This routine has been an invaluable help in getting the most important things done. Previously, I would often put these things off in order to do other things that seemed pressing at that moment. Then, before I knew it the afternoon would come around and I hadn't been for a walk. Often at that stage it was time to think about dinner or about other tasks and the walk never happened. Or I would stay in my pajamas while working, and feel bad when I was still wearing them at 9 or 10 am. Now, I have a routine to remind me that it is important to prioritize these basic things. The other things can wait! After developing this I felt a greater ability to add some more structure to my day. I now also have general goals for what I will achieve before lunch, before dinner, or before bed. Aiming to get my daily cleaning task done before lunch, or before 3 pm if that fails, helps me to feel calmer at dinner time and in the evening. I still feel frustrated at times about how long it takes me to get through my morning routine, and wonder how it will need to change in other circumstances. However, this system is a tool that can be adapted for different seasons of life. I am currently a homemaker and a student. I have particular needs because of chronic back pain, including sitting down between activities. Someone else will have different circumstances and needs. A routine is simply a tool to help you to order your life, whatever that may look like. It can be adapted and improved all the time. Sherrin Drew is a new wife and homemaker in Tasmania, Australia. She loves her husband Dave, fresh food from the garden, children, reading, beautiful pictures, hot cups of herbal tea, and memorizing Psalms. Most of all, Sherrin desires to be passionate about the God who has saved us and about the people He has made. Sherrin finds that the Internet can be a great way to be encouraged and to communicate God's love. She has a blog called "A Deeper Love". Labels: Home Management and Organization
Successful Homemaking with Toddlers: Is it Possible? Part 8
 Last and most importantly, as we discuss successful homemaking with toddlers, I want to encourage all of you moms to keep your focus on Christ.
It is so easy to get bogged down and overwhelmed with the stuff that motherhood is made up of. That's why I've found it imperative I keep my focus on Christ all throughout the day. A few things ideas which have helped me:
Pray while you wash dishes or fold laundry. Have Scripture verses posted on your walls. Keep devotional books handy to pick up when you have a minute and need some encouragement.
Play uplifting music throughout the day. Without even thinking about it, I will often find myself singing along as I'm working. Kathrynne loves to join in, too. What a great way to focus our hearts heavenward as we go about our daily lives!
Pray for needs as they arise. If I receive an email or phone call with a prayer need, I try to stop right then and lift that up to the Lord. I also try to stop and thank the Lord for the little and big things as they come up throughout the day--little victories in child training, answers to prayer, and so on. Usually the girls are at my side and we'll take just a moment to stop and thank the Lord for His goodness in this area.
In all you do, keep Christ at the center of your home and life.
I love this quote by Sally Clarkson from The Mission of Motherhood:
"In the end, what my children and husband need most from me is not a perfect home or perfect training or a perfectly spiritual role model or a wife without faults - but a mother and wife who is committed to doing whatever it takes to love them and make a home for them." "Be not weary in well doing for in due season you shall reap, if you faint not." -------------
As a special treat, I compiled some of my favorite links, homemaking resources, our current daily schedule, and cleaning schedule into a file and you can download it here. Enjoy and be encouraged as you remember to keep your eyes on Christ and seek to honor Him and bless your husband and family. What works for our family and other families won't necessarily work for you so have freedom to glorify God in doing what works for you! And I'd love to hear from all of you moms: what helps you keep your focus on Christ throughout the busyness of your day? Graphic from AllPosters.com
Labels: Home Management and Organization
Successful Homemaking with Toddlers: Is it Possible? Part 7
 If you missed the beginning posts in this series, you can go back and read them here.After planning time in your schedule to invest in your children and planning time to work with your children, I encourage you to also: Plan time in your schedule for your children to entertain themselves close beside you. Except for naptimes and quiet time, one of things we try to do at our home is to have our children always within our eyesight. They are either working with me or working on something nearby. I think it is helpful to teach children from a young age to entertain themselves for short stretches of time while you cook or clean or work on projects with older children. After Kathrynne helps me with some of the cooking and cleaning in the morning, then she usually also has time where she entertains herself. We rotate what she does during this time but it is often things like: sitting on the couch and reading books, building with Legos, coloring, cutting scrap paper with child-safe scissors, riding her trike in the kitchen, playing with water and measuring cups at the kitchen sink and pretending to wash the dishes, or playing with alphabet magnets on the refrigerator. I often sit Kaitlynn on the floor with some books or blocks, or sit her in her high chair with a snack or a few toys. She and Kathrynne are still learning to play together without someone getting hurt so I’ve found it is normally better to separate them into different areas close by where I am. The playpen is a wonderful tool I often use for Kaitlynn since she is quite adventuresome. I can set it up close by where I’ll be working and give her some toys and she will usually play quietly by herself for 30 minutes or so. Growing up, when my mom was teaching school to us older children, she planned different things for the younger children to do and changed them every so often, to keep things from becoming mundane. One thing she did with my youngest brother was a "box-a-day" system: she put together a tub of different toys for each day of the week and during a specified time of the day, he got to pull out the box of the day and play with it in his playpen. It kept him occupied for close to an hour while Mom did school with us and because he only saw the toys in that box once per week, it was like unwrapping a big box of new toys everyday! In addition to planning time in your schedule for your children to entertain themselves, I also highly recommend that every family with young children consider implementing an afternoon quiet time of some sort. At our home, every afternoon we have two hours of quiet time. This is when the girls go down in their beds. Kaitlynn takes a nap and Kathrynne either naps or plays quietly in her room, reads books, or listens to a CD--usually a combination of all of these things. This gives everyone a reprieve from the usual bustling of our home, it gives the girls an opportunity to rest, and it also allows me to have an opportunity to rest, read, or work on projects.
For those of you feeling like you could never have your children work independently close beside you or you could never have an afternoon quiet time, let me encourage you that these things don't happen overnight. Instead, they must be taught.
While I'm far from any experienced parenting expert, I wanted to offer just a few words of encouragement to you young moms on the subject of training your children:
Training takes time and work and patience and practice. Every day is an opportunity for us, as mothers, to instruct our children in Godliness, to lavish them with love, and to help our children practice obedience. We shouldn't expect obedience from our children; we must graciously guide them in the Truth and teach them to obey. At our home this means lots of practice. And more practice! We practice saying "thank you" and "please", obeying the first time, and coming when called. We talk about what is expected and why we expect it. We communicate with our children and to our children in words that they can understand what our heart's desire is for them--that they will learn to obey us so that someday they will love the Lord their God with all their hearts and seek to honor Him in all they do, say, and think.
It's only because of training and practice that Kathrynne will play quietly while I read, or sit and have tea with me, or go to bed cheerfully, or come when she's called. None of those things happened naturally, and just like all the rest of us, Kathrynne is far from perfect, but the effort we have put into training her has gradually begun to pay off. And it brings great joy to our hearts to see her blossoming into a respectful, cheerful child who is a delight to be around.
My encouragement for all of you young moms to not lose hope! Don't try to work on everything at once--that's just setting yourselves up for frustration and failure. Instead, pick one area to work on and focus on that. Try taking things in bite-size pieces, set small goals, and lovingly instill obedience and respect in your children. Start out slowly, be consistent, and you will soon reap the benefits.
And there you have a few of my novice and inexperienced thoughts on child-rearing. Ask me for more thoughts in about 25 years and I might have a word of wisdom to share! :) I'd love hear from the rest of you moms: What ideas do you have for things your children can do to entertain themselves for short stretches of time?
Graphic from AllPosters.com
Labels: Home Management and Organization
My favorite "tools"
 A few favorite "tools" that help me thrive:::Water - Seriously, when I am adequately hydrated, I feel so much better and have much more energy. I try to keep a big thermos by my home management center at all times to remind me to drink often.
::Supermom vitamins - When I forget to take these for a few days, I can tell it as my body starts feeling drowsy and "blah". I have a note in my daily schedule reminding me to take these because it's just that important. Read more of my thoughts on these vitamins here. ::Shoes - Thanks to FlyLady's encouragement, I try to always get "dressed to my shoes" everyday. Something about wearing shoes makes me so much more productive! ::Sleep - I know this is a no-brainer, but we moms can often forget, can't we? Making an extra effort to go to bed before 10 p.m. on weeknights can make all the difference in the world in our home. Jessica has a great post here on the subject. ::Timer - This is one of my most-used tools and often accompanies me wherever I go throughout the house during the day. It keeps me on track, it keeps me focused, and it motivates me to work fast. I wrote more about how I use my timer here.Those are a few of my favorite tools. See more tools that moms love here.
What about you? What helps you to not just survive but thrive as a wife, mom, or homemaker?Labels: Home Management and Organization
Guest Post: No time like the present
 Guest Post by Erin from Delighting in His RichesIn the midst of all the demands on our time, and our own frustration at day's end over the lack of accomplishing our daily 'to-do' list, I'd like to offer a little encouragement. Over the past eleven years since we had our first child, I have learned a thing or two about time management, multi-tasking, flexibility, oneness with my husband, and reliance on God. I don't know that there is a quick-fix or a one-size-fits-all answer, but some principles can bring greater peace and joy to most situations. I've learned so much on time management from FlyLady; the power in establishing a morning and evening routine carries me through busy days with young children underfoot. Although the routine and scheduling are important to maintain daily sanity, the biggest lesson I carried from her was the efficacy of baby steps. We all have areas that need improvement, and, in this life, we always will. If we can step back and avoid the overwhelming weight of all that needs improvement, and start somewhere, anywhere, we will begin to see change. We conquer one area, and move on, retaining what we have learned. Keep the big picture in mind. Look back in a year and see all that you have accomplished (How many loads of laundry have you sorted, pre-treated, washed, folded, put away? Maybe five more still call your name, but that doesn't begin to compare to the hundreds you have done.) Take things a day at a time and keep goals achievable. Multi-tasking, another must-have quality in motherhood, becomes second nature as we type one handed to 'get something done' while nursing (as if nourishing our hungry baby was nothing), file paperwork while on hold on the phone, prepare lunch while giving spelling tests, etc., etc. I try to often call one of my kids along side me as I work. Another set of hands often actually lengthens the task, but this time passes too quickly not to take advantage of each moment with them, the ultimate in multi-tasking. No great tips for multi-tasking, but it gets easier with time and use. No matter how solid a routine, and how proficient our multi-tasking ability, without flexibility our days will still be fraught with frustration. Babies don't always stay on "schedule", sickness crops up, something breaks, the power goes out, storms blow through, life happens. Before we know it, our children will marry and move out. I try to remind myself daily to joyfully drop everything to hold that child. Ten years from now I may have more "spare time", but he won't be asking then. Praise God in the sunshine and praise Him in the rain! As I seek to keep my home, my goals there need to honor my husband, follow his lead, please him, and create a sanctuary he runs to get home to. If he gets frustrated by dirty counters, they should be my priority. If he wants the living room clear of toys when he arrives home, I should excite the children in preparing this for Daddy. His priorities, need to cultivate my priorities. Some areas we may not know what we should do, but if he expresses it, there is no longer a question. I pray for joy to help my husband and always greater love to energize me throughout the day. It all comes back to God: He gave us these children, this place in our life, our husband. He holds the key to limitless grace, love, patience, and joy to thrive where He placed us. Even when we don't have an hour for quiet time to start the day, we can be in His word, seeking His wisdom, praying continually, turning our children's hearts to Him, following Him step by step. Without God at the core of our lives, the filter we see and process through, the knowledge we teach through, and the guide we walk through, no amount of planning, schedules, or flexibility will put our lives peacefully in order. We will face many imperfect days. While I wanted to offer some encouragement and practical tips, I also have learned the importance of keeping an eternal perspective. What really matters? My husband and children's souls are eternal. Everything else that I have to schedule in everyday is only temporary. This life is a vapor in the eternal span of time. We must be good stewards of all God has entrusted us with, weighing the eternal value of our actions and choices throughout each day. These busy, young-children filled days will pass so quickly. Their success will not be judged differently than we often judge them now. What will last are those things of eternal value. I love the saying, "Don't sacrifice the eternal on the altar of the temporal." -Erin and her husband have been married for 15 years and are a homeschooling family with 5 children ranging in ages from 2-10. They also work as houseparents to 12 boys (4th-7th grade) at a residential school for children from disadvantaged, low-income, primarily single-parent homes. Erin says, "We like to say we have 17 kids Sunday through Friday, but we don't cook or do laundry for 12 of them. This 'job' is truly a ministry that has strengthened our own faith and home in the nine years since we started." To see what a typical day in their bustling household looks like, go here.Graphic from AllPosters.comLabels: Finding Time, Home Management and Organization
Successful Homemaking with Toddlers: Is it Possible? Part 6
 After planning time in your day for enjoying your children, I encourage you to: Plan time in your schedule for your children to work with you. Teach your children from a young age to be assets to your household. As much as you can, involve your children in what you are doing and have them help you. Even if it's only for 10-15 minutes, what a great start in instilling a strong work ethic and diligence in your children! Make helping and participating in chores exciting; interact and have fun while you're working together. Yes, it takes longer to get work done when the girls are working with me and yes, there are more interruptions, but what really matters? Isn't quality time spent investing in my children teaching them valuable life skills much more important than crossing everything off my to-do list? Just a few ideas to encourage your child to work with you:::Give your child a child-size broom and dustpan, miniature vacuum sweeper, or their own little apron so that they can work alongside mommy. You can often find these very inexpensively at garage sales or thrift stores. (Or maybe these things would be a great birthday present to request from generous grandparents?) ::Assign small chores to your child that they can accomplish on their own and then praise them and be excited with them when they complete them. It might not seem like a two-year-old can do much to help, but start looking and you'll find plenty. Perhaps they can put away all of the LEGOs into the tub, dump the flour into the mixing bowl for you, go get a diaper for you, throw something into the trash for you, wipe down the outside of one cupboard, fold up three wash cloths while you are working on the laundry pile, or use a rag to clean a small area of the tile with you. Let your children work alongside you and involve them in whatever you are doing. Be sure to keep it very simple and easy and only ask them to do one thing at a time when they are first learning. If they have trouble, patiently show them the right way to do something. Practice it until they know exactly how to do it and what is expected of them. ::Use non-toxic cleaners. One of my most very favorite cleaners is Basic H. It is extremely versatile and so inexpensive as one $12 bottle of concentrate makes 48 gallons. I let Kathrynne spray and clean with this all she wants. I just give her a rag and a spray bottle and a small area to clean, and let her have at it! ::Make up an illustrated chore chart. At this point, we've not done much with chore charts in our home as the girls just work beside me on our daily assigned tasks and jobs. However, I know many families have used chore charts with their toddlers with great success. (By the way, if you've done a post on your chore chart, please comment with the link so we can be inspired!) Those are just a few of my ideas. What ideas have worked in your home to encourage your toddlers to work with you and help with chores? I'd love to hear!Labels: Home Management and Organization
Guest Post: A Simple Reminder
 Guest Post from Mrs. Theresa GouldA few years ago a friend shared in a letter to me something the Lord had showing in her about the comparison trap from II Corinthians 10:12, "For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves, are not wise."I've realized through the years how it is far too easy to fall into the temptation to compare ourselves and all it ends up accomplishing is robbing us of our joy, as well as our enjoyment of our home and children we have been blessed with. At the same time, it is all too easy to judge one another about how we look, or how our homes look or our children look or act. Each of us come from various backgrounds, work ethics and training. Therefore, each of us will be at different places in our homemaking journeys. While it is fun to learn and glean from others, it is easy to fall prey to the temptation to compare. All of us should not only accept where we are at personally in making our houses homes--be it total organized or semi-organized or learning to become organized. We should also accept where our sisters in Christ are in their journeys, valuing the diversity the Lord has given us in the Body of Christ, no matter what that might look like. Most of us are also learning our homemaking skills with a baby, toddler(s), and other children under foot--which is challenging in itself without adding the comparison trap to it. So let's avoid comparing, all the while learning to glean the gold nuggets as we sift through so many sources of helps and advice along the way. -Mrs.Theresa Gould is Robert's wife of 14 years, homeschooling mother to seven children. She enjoys spending time with her family reading, going for walks, or doing household projects. In spare moments she can be found reading or writing. She and her family also enjoy working on their home business Faith and Family Books.
Graphic from AllPosters.comLabels: Home Management and Organization
Successful Homemaking with Toddlers: Is it Possible? Part 5
 Now that we've covered some basic groundwork as it relates to successful homemaking with toddlers, I want to share some practical things which have helped me tremendously to cultivate more organization in our lives.
I've already covered some of these in detail in the time management series, so I'll just be posting links to those and encourage you to go read them:1) Get up early - This is the number one thing which has helped me to keep some semblance of organization in our lives. Read more here.
2) Create a morning routine - Choose five things to do in the same order every morning. Read more here. 3) Develop a workable, full-fledged schedule - After I developed and implemented a workable morning routine and had seen how much of an impact this had made in my day, I moved on to establishing more organization in my life by creating and implementing a full-fledged daily schedule. Read more here. Just as a written budget allows our money to work so much harder and go so much farther each month, so a written game plan for each day enables us to use the time much more wisely. What I have found most helpful about a written routine for our day is that I know what I'm supposed to be doing and when I'm supposed to be doing it. If I don't plan for it, it often doesn't get done. With this in mind, here are just a few ideas of things I'd encourage you to plan into your day if you have toddlers:First off, plan time in your schedule to enjoy your children and invest in them.When the weather is nice, take your children out for walks and let them run around outside and get fresh air, sunshine, and exercise. It will not only be good for them, but it will be healthy for you as a mom, too. Read wholesome, character-building books to your children on a variety of levels. When I read picture books to the girls, they sit next to me, look at the pictures, and follow along with the words. When I read books a bit above their level with few or no pictures, the girls usually just listen in while playing in the same room quietly. We've also found a great time to read at our home is when we're sitting at the table eating. Breakfast time couples as Bible time at our home and tea time in the afternoon is also reading time. Be a cheerful, joyful, fun mama who gets down right at your children's level and just has a blast with them! Play games, sing together, pray together, work together, laugh together, talk with your children not just to them, love on them and shower them with hugs, kisses, and encouraging words. Who says mothering has to be a boring, dreary, burdensome task? Sure, it's a lot of hard work and responsibility, but you can also have the grandest time in your life nurturing and caring for these precious souls God has given to you! Pro-actively planning time in your schedule to enjoy your children, play with them, and invest in them will be one of the most valuable things you can include in your day. And having a written framework for you day that you follow allows you to make sure and include this important time in your day. Next time, we'll talk about a few more things I'd encourage you to plan into your day. Stay tuned!How have you been enjoying your children recently? What fun activities have you been doing together? What helps you to be a joyful mother? I'd love to be inspired from you all!
Labels: Home Management and Organization
Successful Homemaking with Toddlers: Is it Possible? Part 4
 In this series so far, we've talked about redefining "successful homemaking", learning to rely totally upon the Lord, and seeking your husband's counsel and direction. Today, I want to share with you something which is near and dear to my heart: 3) Successful homemaking with toddlers can only happen when we have our priorities in the right place. (Some of the below is taken from the Finding Time series, in case it sounds familiar to some of you!)
When we say "yes" to one thing, we are also saying "no" to something else. I purposed when I was 12 years old to wrap my life around things which would count for Eternity. Though sadly I sometimes lose sight of this goal, the Lord often reminds me of it and I, once again, re-evaluate what I am doing in light of Eternity.
Two questions which help eliminate much of the stuff that can clutter up life are:
1) Does this glorify the Lord and honor my husband?
2) Will this matter in Eternity?
If the answer is "yes" to both of those questions, then I need to evaluate it in light of the order of importance.
My priorities at this season of my life as a child of God, wife, mother, and homemaker, are, in order:
1) My relationship to the Lord.
2) My relationship with my husband.
3) My responsibility to train, raise, and nurture the children the Lord has blessed us with.
4) My role as keeper and guardian of our home.
5) Everything else: Fellowship with and ministry to other Christians in our local area, reaching out to the lost, blogging, and so forth.
I highly encourage you to take time today to list your priorities for the season of life you are in order of importance and then evaluate every opportunity in light of those. You will probably quickly find there are a whole lot of things you can eliminate--things which might be good things, things which might be great things for others to do, but things which, for you, will only distract you from the best things.
I'm slowly learning that while it is great to be inspired by others and it is wonderful to learn new skills, it's okay to do less.
Really, it's okay.
In fact, it is probably more than okay; it might be the best thing for your home and family if you learn to say "no," slow down, and savor life right now.
We can't all do everything and we would do well to realize this. Instead, we should stop comparing ourselves to others and start focusing on what God has called us to do.
This will mean different things for different people as we are all in different seasons with different husbands and different families. Do what God has called you to do and seek to do that well. Don't spend your life trying to do more than you can do, be more than you should be, and run yourself ragged trying to impress or outdo other people.
I'm learning that it's okay in this season of our lives for me to keep dinner very simple (and sometimes do my dinner dishes in the morning!), to be a minimalist in decorating, to downsize my online activities, to limit my outside activities, to stay home most days, and to say "no" more often.
It's okay that we've cleared out a lot of excess commitments and stuff so that we can focus on what is most important--pleasing the Lord, having a strong marriage, raising up our children for the glory of God. We're focusing on basic, simple, fundamental things here--things which will matter in Eternity.
And so, I encourage you to also be free to do less and focus your time and energies on what really matters.
Next in this series, we'll be talking about some practical ideas for cultivating organization in your homes when you have toddlers. Stay tuned! I'd love to hear from other moms and women out there on how you keep your priorities in place and what helps you to eliminate the "good" things in order to focus on the best things. Labels: Home Management and Organization
Clear Out The Clutter Challenge: Day 2 and 3
I didn't have a chance to post about my clutter-busting yesterday, so you get a two-for-one today. I cleaned out the upstairs including our bedroom and bathroom and the girls' bedroom and bathroom. The end result was this huge ole' pile of stuff going straight to our garage sale stash:  It sure feels nice to have cleared out all that space in our cupboards and drawers! Also, speaking of homemaking projects, the winners of the copies of Queen of the Castle are: Betty Jo and Catherine. ------------------ Want to join in the Clear Out the Clutter Challenge? Post about the clutter you clear out (with before and after pictures!) in your home today and then come back here and leave your link below so we can all be inspired and motivated. Don't have a blog? Tell us about your accomplishments in the comments section. Labels: Home Management and Organization
Successful Homemaking with Toddlers: Is it Possible? Part 3
 After changing your definition of "successful homemaking" and committing to rely upon the Lord to give you the strength and grace to fulfill His calling in your life, you are well on your way to true success at homemaking while mothering toddlers! If you are married, this next point is vital:2) Seek your husband's counsel and direction for how he desires you to manage your home and train your children.God has given us our husbands to be our protective heads. Ephesians 5:23 says, "For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church..."As brides of Christ (Christians), we are to seek to honor Christ as our Head and Authority. In the same way, as brides to our husband we should seek to honor them as our spiritual head and authority. God has called me, as a Christian wife, to willingly and joyfully place myself the leadership and direction of my own husband. I am to respect, honor, and submit to my husband as Christ so that glory of the Gospel of Jesus Christ might shine forth to the world through our marriage. (See Colossians 3:18; Titus 2:4-5; 1 Corinthians 11:3; 1 Peter 3:5.) It is so important that we each seek the direction and wisdom of our own husbands for how we can honor him in the way we manage our home and children. My husband knows me better than anyone else--he knows my strengths and my weaknesses, he knows my aptitude for being an over-achiever, he knows my perfectionist tendencies, and he knows how I often need someone to quietly remind me to slow down and focus on my what really matters. He knows how our family operates better than anyone else and God has given him the responsibility to lead our family. And I can trust God to lead through him. Whenever I have a new idea I'm considering implementing in our home, when I need some counsel regarding what to do in a situation, or when I need some encouragement because I'm feeling overwhelmed, I want to first go to the Lord and my husband for direction. It is so easy to want to look to others--to books, to blogs, to friends, even to wise older women--when we need to first look to the Lord and our husbands. I have often been guilty of this. I might hear of an idea that just sounds wonderful or I might be asked to participate in something, and, without even thinking twice, I jump on board. Many times, after a few weeks, I'll find myself overwhelmed and stressed and wondering why on earth I took on this new thing. When I'm bemoaning this to my husband, he'll gently remind me, "Did you pray about it and talk to me about it or did you just commit to it without thinking?"If only I would have stopped to pray and stopped to ask my husband's wisdom before committing to something, I likely could have prevented so much frustration! I've also found that it is very easy to compare myself to others. I might read on another blog about something that someone else is doing and think, "Wow, that's a good idea; I really should be doing that, too." And then I'll scramble to try and figure out how I can make it work in our schedule only to find myself tense that I can't seem to add it in. This tension can turn into guilt, "If I don't do such-and-such like this blogger friend of mine is doing, I'm not a good homemaker or mother." Ever felt like that before? I've been there more times that I'd like to admit.
My husband is so wise to remove this guilt I'm burdening myself needlessly with by looking into my eyes and reminding me, "Crystal, all that matters is that you honor the Lord and honor me; don't worry about trying to be like other people."
What a relief!
And so, as you seek to be a successful homemaker with toddlers, I encourage you to learn from others and be inspired by others, but have freedom to manage your home and train your children in a way that honors the Lord and honors your own husband.
To be continued...
Labels: Home Management and Organization
Clear Out the Clutter: Day 1
Yesterday, in our Clear Out the Clutter Challenge, Kathrynne and I tackled the main floor of our home. Our living room stays quite clutter-free and I'd recently gone through the coat closet, and the bathroom only houses a stash of Kleenex that I got a great deal on some months back, so the kitchen and above the washer/dryer area was our main focus.  I ended up going through every cupboard, clearing it out, and wiping things down with Basic G as I went. We also cleaned out the refrigerator, too.  And in case you're wondering about the very bare refrigerator--this was taken right before we headed to the store for our weekly grocery shopping trip!  And here's our final pile of clutter from the main floor--going straight to the garage sale pile. Yay! ------------- Want to join in our Clear Out the Clutter Challenge? Post about the clutter you clear out (with before and after pictures!) in your home today and then come back here and leave your link below so we can all be inspired and motivated. Don't have a blog? Tell us about your accomplishments in the comments section. Labels: Home Management and Organization
Successful Homemaking with Toddlers: Is it Possible? Part 2
 Last week, I talked about the need to redefine "successful homemaking." Contrary to what some may think, it doesn't mean that we live a life of perfection. Rather, I believe successful homemaking is the result of a woman seeking to first and foremost glorify the Lord in her calling as a child of God, a helpmeet to her husband, and a mother to her children. There will be many days when things look far from perfect but if our primary goal is seek first the Kingdom of God, honor the Lord, and glorify Him with our lives, we will have true success in God's eyes (Joshua 1:8, Matt. 6:33). And, I also believe that a side product will be a much calmer, cheerful, and orderly home (at least most of the time!). We must begin with first things first:
1) Successful, God-glorifying homemaking with toddlers is only possible when we rely totally upon the Lord.You cannot do this in your own strength. You can try, but you will quickly find yourself frustrated, burned out, stressed, and overwhelmed. Learning to walk in the spirit, instead of trying and failing in my own flesh has been one of the greatest lessons I've learned as a young mom. Like never before, motherhood has brought to light just how inadequate and insufficient I am in and of myself. Truly, I can't do this myself.I need God's strength, God's grace, God's help... His kindness, His gentleness, His long-suffering, His love, His compassion. God has given me these children, He can equip me to be faithful to the task of raising them. God has called me to be a keeper of my home, He can sustain me and give me wisdom to manage it for His glory. With God, all things are possible ( Matt. 19:26). Even all those things that may look, seem, and feel impossible. When we live our life in the strength of the Lord, we can do all things (Phil. 4:13)--including managing our home with toddlers underfoot! So, don't try to do this mothering and homemaking thing alone! To be continued...Labels: Home Management and Organization
Anti-Procrastination Week: Day 3
Note: This is the last day I'll be posting for the Anti-Procrastination series this week as we need to move on to Frugal Friday and some other previously-planned blog posts for the next few days. However, join us next week for an all-out Clear Out The Clutter Challenge ! I'll be documenting the cleaning out of extra stuff in our home in preparation for a garage sale. I'd love to have you join me! The morning began like usual with taking my vitamins, showering and getting dressed to the shoes, and spending some rich time in God's Word.  After breakfast, I tackled the sink piled high with dishes. Pictured above is the beautifully-shiny clean sink which resulted! I love it--even if it only seems to last for less than one hour!  Kathrynne worked on her tracing sheets while I cleaned the kitchen.  Then it was time for a quick pick up and off to level Mt. Neverest. ( Where does all this laundry come from?! I always wonder. I think it multiplies in the hamper or dryer or something!)  Ah! Much better!  We then set to work making dinner--fresh green beans, meat loaf, and mashed potatoes were on the menu.  And finally, we rewarded our hard work with a hot chocolate tea party and a good story. Labels: Home Management and Organization
Help! My sink overfloweth!
Remember that I just said I have a lot left to learn when it comes to successful homemaking? Well, here's one area I really need to improve in and was hoping you all could help. Almost every morning in the last month, I've been waking up to something like this:  Yes, it's bad. And there's nothing quite like waking up to a sink full of dirty dishes to start the day off on the wrong note. I know the simple answer is that I should just wash them before I go to bed. I know I should, but I'm really struggling to actually do it. Jesse works pretty long hours--especially when factoring in his commute--and since I'm here with the girls all day by the time dinner is over with, I'm exhausted and ready to drop into bed myself. And I usually do just that as soon as the girls are ready for bed, I've nursed Kaitlynn, and we've had family worship. Which leaves the ever-growing pile of dishes to tackle in the morning. I normally wash this gigantic pile of dishes straight after breakfast. Then I do as much of the dinner prep as possible before lunch so that I can wash all of those extra dishes with the lunch dishes to help reduce the pile of dirty dishes which seems to multiply later in the day. However, by the time dinner is over with, there is a whole new stack of dishes calling my name. And my bed is calling my name louder. What do you do to avoid an overflowing kitchen sink in the morning? What works for you?
Note: I thought I should mention that we have a dishwasher, but it's an older model and it doesn't seem to clean the dishes well at all. I end up having to rinse them so thoroughly to have them coming out looking halfway clean that I might as well just wash them by hand.
Note #2: I also realized that I should mention that all of you moms of three or more are given full permission to laugh at how silly it sounds for a mom of two to be so tired at night. I'm sure I don't even know what the word tired means yet. :)
Labels: Home Management and Organization
Successful Homemaking with Toddlers: Is it Possible? Part 1
 Because of a large number of requests and emails in recent weeks, I'm embarking on a series on successful homemaking with toddlers underfoot. I do not consider myself to be any expert on this subject; I only have two little girls and have been a mom for less than four years. As always, I have much left to learn and, in ten years from now, I'll likely have a much different viewpoint. However, I hope that some of what I share will be an encouragement to those of you young moms who feel overwhelmed in your everyday tasks.Successful homemaking with toddlers--is it possible? Yes, it is... But only with God's help, lots of creativity and diligence on our part, and our willingness to let go of perfectionism. You see, I believe that "successful homemaking" does not mean you have a perfect home, a perfect schedule, or perfect children. In fact, none of us will ever have any of those things at any time. We live in a sin-filled world full of imperfection. If we try to achieve perfection, we will always fail and, more than likely, we'll live in despair. However, I do believe that God can equip us and enable us to be the wives, mothers, and homemakers He has called us to be. By His grace, we can joyfully and whole-heartedly fulfill our roles as help meets to our husbands, loving nurturers of our children, and diligent managers of our homes. And we can do all of this in a manner which brings glory and honor to the Lord! Join me in the next two weeks as I share what God has been teaching me the last few years and practical ideas I've implemented in order to seek to successfully manage our home with young children. Note: I'd love to have some guest posts on this topic, too--especially from those of you who are more seasoned moms. Email me if you're interested in sharing!Graphic from AllPosters.comLabels: Home Management and Organization, Mothering
Anti-Procrastination Week: Day 2
 Our day began with oatmeal and orange/banana/carrot/flax seed smoothies. Yum!  And, of course, Bible Time--Kathrynne's favorite time of all! We have to carefully scan as many pictures as Mom will allow and explain what was happening to who and why and when and where. (And "Are those bad people or good people, Mama?" "How come?" "Do they love Jesus?" Are they going to Heaven?") Three-year-olds are so inquisitive and I'm grateful that one of the things Kathrynne asks the most about is Bible stories.  After baths, kitchen clean-up (gratefully things weren't as bad as yesterday!), and a quick pick up of the house, we proceeded to vacuum the living room and clean out the vacuum cleaner bucket. Ick! We have a bagless vacuum which we like, but cleaning out the bucket is not high on my list of favorite chores.  We then cleaned the glass, emptied the small trashes, and dumped some baking soda in them (this keeps them smelling fresh!).  Then we moved on to do some cooking and baking. I browned some ground beef and made chili and whipped up a meatloaf for later in the week while that was simmering. I had some extra time and had been wanting to try and make homemade crackers to go with the chili. Well try we did and flop they did. Perhaps we should just stick with Saltines. Ugh! Anyone have a better cracker recipe for me to try--one that works well with whole wheat flour? If so, I'd love to have it!  After our chores were finished, we enjoyed some fun outside time with Kathrynne having a blast riding her trike on the deck. Life just isn't much better than that, is it? Want to join in Anti-Procrastination week? If so, visit Mrs. Byers here.Labels: Home Management and Organization
My planner - Part 2
I talked about how I've gotten back into using a planner again and my Daily Pages last time, today I wanted to briefly tell you about the other pages I use:  The Household Organizer pages - Though these pages are actually supposed to be used for planning household cleaning, I use them to create a week-at-a-glance goal sheet for the main areas of my life: Home, Jesse, Personal, Kathrynne&Kaitlynn, Personal, BiblicalWomanhood.com, MSM Blog, and BW Blog. In each section, I jot down basic goals I have for each area for the week. For instance, this week here is one of my goals for each area: Home: Check out gardening books (I'm planning some gardening projects!) Jesse: Clean out van (something that will bless my hubby!) Kathrynne and Kaitlynn: Finish Twenty and TenPersonal: Listen to 4 teaching CDs Biblical Womanhood: Promotion with Living on a DimeMSM Blog: Post Budgeting 101- Part 3 post BW Blog: Finish planner series (!) That's just a sampling of how this page works for me--most of these categories have at least 2-3 goals per week in them. I use this goal sheet to then plan out my week and assign a day in my Daily Pages to actually start and complete the goal (or to at least start it!). I don't always finish everything on this sheet every week; in fact, I don't think I've ever finished everything, but I use it as a master guideline to work from when planning my week. If something doesn't get done off this sheet, it is moved to the following week. Creating weekly goals has been a huge help in allowing me to accomplish more, stay on track better, and keep my main priorities my main priorities. I'd highly recommend you consider trying this idea in your own home and planning. Perhaps it might be a great help for you as well! The Daily Pages and the Household Organizer pages are my most-utilized pages for planning purposes, but I also have a section which includes the Menu Planners and shopping lists from GraceWorks and I love having this in my planner. Not only can I easily consult exactly what's planned on the menu, but I have a place to write down items that we need to buy (both at the grocery store and elsewhere. At the back of my planner are my Scripture Memory pages and my Devotion pa | | |
A butterfly at the Omaha Zoo Butterfly Garden
Related: Stephanie's post on a similar topic was a great encouragement to me as I was seeking the Lord on this.
