Megan
commented on an earlier post and asked:I have a question though that I can't seem to find much information on, and I'm hoping you can help. I currently do not have children but will be coming home to be a SAHW in the fall. I'm worried that I won't have enough to do, especially since kids will not be involved. Any help/ideas?
In our current culture, home has become so neglected that many people haven't the slightest idea what its purpose is outside of a place to sleep, relax, and sometimes eat. Home has lost its noble place in society so much that people can't imagine what there is to
do there all day long. Any woman who dares consider staying home full-time is made out to be a unintelligent woman living with half her brain tied behind her back.
Whatever happened to home being the center of the family, a haven of refreshment, a thriving metropolis of productivity?
Instead of homes, we have elaborate McMansions that are devoid of life. They might look pretty to the observer (Thanks to hired maids and interior decorators!), but they are usually just houses, not
homes. They sit there empty and lifeless while the occupants live a hectic, frenetic, 100-mile-an-hour life in the fast lane--trying to get ahead, trying to get to the top of the corporate ladder, trying to squish in as many activities as can possibly be had outside the home.
We don't have to follow along in this madness; our families deserve something better. Let's make the sacrifices and take the effort to give our families a beautiful, welcoming home which is the heart of the family and the center for outreach to the world. Maybe our home isn't furnished very expensively and maybe it isn't very big, but we can do our best to recapture the nobility and rightful place of
home in our society--beginning with our own home.
Mrs. Stanley Sherman says in her article titled "Plenty to Do At Home":
When you make a determined decision to dedicate yourself to marriage, home, and family, the list of things to do at home is endless.
I concur. Although children are a wonderful addition to the home, children do not
make a home, nor should children be the only reason for staying home. If your husband wants you to work full-time outside the home and he is not open to any creative alternatives, by all means do it. However, I think most men would readily give up the relatively small amount of extra money brought in by a second income to have a wife who truly embraced her role as a "keeper at home".
Being a "keeper at home" does not imply a woman is chained to the kitchen sink and never steps foot beyond her doorstep. Instead, it illustrates a beautiful picture of one of the most important things a woman can invest her life in--glorifying God by nurturing the culture of her home.
As
Lanier Ivester says in her article, "I am a Stay-at-Home Wife":
According to Strong's Exhaustive Concordance, the word "keeper" means literally a guard, a stayer at home, one who is domestically inclined.
We women are gatekeepers--no matter what battles are raging in our culture, we have been entrusted with the culture of our own homes, a culture within which tremendous ministry can take place, both to our families as well as the ones God brings into our lives. And for me, even though He has not blessed us with children yet, that is a full-time job.
I believe with all my heart that home is about so much more than scrubbing floors, washing dishes, and bathing babies. Although those are definitely usually parts of our duty as homemakers, we need to look beyond the day-to-day activities and see the bigger picture.
We have the incredible opportunity to bring glory and honor to our husband and to the Lord through how we use our time at home. Take a few days and study Proverbs 31:10-31. What an example of productivity, frugality, and abundant, fruitful living this woman was! Spend time reading through each verse and make a list of the various pursuits, ministries, and activities this woman was involved in. By the time you are finished with this exercise, you'll probably realize that there are a
world of possibilities available for a stay-at-home wife.
When we are home full-time, we have more freedom and energy to be able to better help our husband and be a powerful asset to him:
We can become a skilled home economist--stretching the resources we have as far as they can go, becoming more knowledgeable concerning finances and investing, keeping track of budgeting, bill-paying, and record-keeping, perhaps even investing some of our time into entrepreneurial ideas to further contribute to our family's income.
We can become an efficient home manager--setting up a household schedule, overseeing household repairs (or completing some of them ourselves), redecorating the home using yard sale finds, cooking nourishing and wholesome meals, making our home a haven of hospitality and evangelism.
And when our home and priorities are in order,
we can begin looking for opportunities to minister from our home--praying for those who are struggling, lodging missionaries, making meals for needy families, organizing ministries to the poor, reaching out to our neighbors, writing letters of encouragement, teaching young women, helping busy moms, ministering to the elderly and widows... the possibilities are wide open and endless!
Personally speaking, I was a stay-at-home wife for about two years, before we had Kathrynne. I had no lack of things to keep me productive and useful. It was so wonderful to be able to devote the bulk of my time and energy to helping my husband and easing his load--especially while he was enduring the rigors of law school.
By being home, I had time to plan menus, shop frugally, and make nutritious meals for my husband. I was able to make sure he had his shirts ironed and clean socks to wear. I was able to research out the best buy on items and make phone calls and run errands for him. I was able to take the time to make a nutritious sack lunch for Jesse to take to school or work everyday, saving us hundreds of dollars in food bills.
Not only was I available to meet my husband's needs, but I was able to expand his ministry. With school and work, he didn't have much extra time to be able to help and serve others, so I could do things as his "ambassador".
I was able to go and help other families in their homes with their laundry, cleaning, cooking, and homeschooling. I made meals for needy families and took care of the details of our home so that we could practice hospitality. I also spent a great deal of time reading, keeping up with current events, writing, and studying in order to help facilitate interesting discussions around our dinner table.
It was also during these two years that I was able to learn how to start and run a business. One of my husband's dreams was for us to have a home business and through this time I had at home before children, I was able to make his dream a reality. If I had been out pursuing my own career, I never would have had the hours to devote to this.
So, Megan, let me encourage you: there are a
thousand things one can do from home to glorify God and bless others. The most important thing is that you seek to make your home a God-glorifying place and you devote yourself to doing everything you can to make your husband successful. Focus on these two things and you'll never run out of things to do. And I can imagine your husband will not be disappointed either!
I'd love to hear from the rest of you: What have you done from home to glorify God, bless your husband, and minister to others? Tell us about it. What encouragement do you have for Megan?
(Note: Some of this post was taken from Recapture the Nobility of Home--a post I wrote in July of 2006.)
Labels: Home Management and Organization, Making Your Home a Haven, Marriage
Motivated by your suggestions, I've decided to host a weekly (?) feature here with practical ways and ideas of how we can love, bless, and show honor to our hard-working husbands. My hope is that the ideas shared with inspire you to think of ways you, too, can encourage and build up your own husband.
